Reading between the lines

A date or not a date, that is the question

Bottom line was that a guy like Charles would never take someone like him out on a date. As much as Lando's young adult novel rotten brain believed it, stuff like that just didn't happen in real life. Especially not to Max.

"No, he wouldn't..." He said quietly, trying not to sound as miserable as the tight pain in his chest made him feel, because he couldn't even explain it to himself. If Lando would ask him about it, Max's only option would be to run. Or pretend he'd gone deaf.

To the Dutchman's surprise it wasn't Lando who spoke next, but Oscar. The boy stepped closer, making sure that Charles wouldn't overhear him - which was very unlikely anyways, since he was still bargaining with Seb - and muttered, "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

Max's brows furrowed as he tried to read the Aussies face, to find out if he was just joking or actually sincere. But Oscar's face was neutral as always, smoothed into an impenetrable mask. In itself that was kind of helpful. He didn't seem like the type of person to play with peoples feelings for fun. Or even open his mouth unless what he had to say had some purpose.

Still Max wanted to be very sure and asked, "How do you know?"

"He talks about you constantly." Oscar shrugged, a sliver of annoyance swinging in his voice. "Can't shut up about you, actually. I feel like I'm more involved in whatever is going on between you two than you are."

"That's because there's nothing going on." Max said, but he sounded a lot less convincing than he had a couple of days ago, when he'd said the exact same thing to Seb and Lewis. It was harder now, after what Oscar had just told him and with his heart swelling in his chest.

For the shortest moment Max actually felt good. This weird tingly feeling running through his body, his heart beat picking up, making him all dizzy and flustered... Even a small smile managed to sneak its way onto his lips.

It was all taken away when the rational part of his brain turned on. That cynical voice ever present destroying the instant of genuine happiness in a few simple words. Because again, a guy like Charles would never be seriously interested in Max. It was better to never start hoping than getting disappointed later on.

And Max had been hurt before. He'd let himself feel and be happy... and then how did that end? Max had to resist the urge to turn around and look at Danny to get a proper reminder. The voice was right either way. What had happened between them... it was a long time ago, but the memories still haunted him. The pain he'd felt for months... probably years even if Max was honest with himself. It was something he never wanted to experience again.

Apparently his subconscious wasn't done there, giving him yet another reason why this wasn't a good idea. Because what if Charles actually was taking him on a date? What if this (in some miracle way) would actually work out? Would Charles be understanding of all Max had gone through? Would he be willing to put in the work and patience it took to be with him? The voice voted no, strongly.

Even Danny, who'd been nice enough not to wear belts and make sure not to knock on doors or move too suddenly during their fights, had had to draw the line somewhere... Max had somehow managed to become too much even for the most patient and kind men he'd ever known.

In a matter of seconds the fast heartbeat and warmth in his body became caging. The slight dizziness turned into actual, the-room-is-spinning light-headedness. Max swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump forming in his throat, but it didn't work. It wouldn't as long as he was watching Charles and Seb discuss this (not-)date with Lando standing next to him, grinning like an idiot and Daniel behind him, thinking god knows what about this whole situation.

"I'm gonna go upstairs!" Max blurted out, pushing himself away from the bar. The small boost was enough for his wobbly legs to carry him past the others and towards the stairs. "Unpack stuff. Busy day."