Not in the Script

4

More laughter. Brylee grinned, nodding along.

"But look, I knew this was gonna happen. I called it before Colin even knew." He pointed an accusatory finger at Jost. "I remember the first time he mentioned Brylee to me. He was real casual, like, 'Oh yeah, Brylee Evans is hosting SNL this week. She's cool, right?' And I was like, 'Yeah, she's Brylee Evans, man. She's literally America's sweetheart. What's your point?'"

Che paused, letting the audience settle before continuing.

"Then a few weeks later, we're just chilling, and out of nowhere, this man goes, 'Hey, did you know Brylee prefers smooth peanut butter over crunchy?'"

The room erupted into laughter again.

"I said, 'Bro... why the hell do you know that?' And he just blushed like a little schoolboy and was like, 'Oh, we just talked about it.'"

Che turned to the audience with a deadpan expression.

"I have never seen this man care about a woman's peanut butter preference before."

Brylee leaned into Colin, laughing so hard she covered her face. Colin just groaned, shaking his head.

"But he still denied it," Che continued. "I was like, 'You're in love with her, bro.' And he was like, 'Nooo, we're just friends.'"

Che stared at Colin before turning back to the crowd. "Y'all ever seen a dude so deep in denial he starts sounding like a Maury guest? Like, 'No sir, we JUST FRIENDS, I don't know nothin' about that baby!'"

The room lost it. Even Colin couldn't help but laugh.

"But I knew it was real when he started smiling at his phone. This man was giggling. Giggling."

Che looked around the room for confirmation. "You ever seen a grown man giggle? It's terrifying."

The laughter only got louder as Colin buried his face in his hands.

"And then one day, he calls me up and says, 'Hey, I think I'm gonna ask Brylee out.' And I was like, 'Oh, you think?' Man, you've been acting like a Disney princess for months. Just put on the ballgown and get it over with."

Colin shook his head, looking at Brylee. "Why did we let him do this?"

Che grinned, taking another sip of his drink before continuing.

"But listen. Jokes aside—Colin is one of my best friends. I've seen him at his best, I've seen him at his worst, and I've seen him try to parallel park, which is actually worse than his worst."

More laughter. Colin held up his hands. "That was ONE time."

Che ignored him.

"But the best version of him? It's the one that exists because of Brylee. Because somehow, some way, she makes him better."

Che sighed dramatically. "I don't know how you did it, Brylee. Magic? Hypnosis? Blackmail? Whatever it is, thank you."

He lifted his glass. "So, let's all raise a glass—to Brylee, for making a terrible life choice, and to Colin, for finally locking it down before she came to her senses."

The room burst into laughter and cheers as Colin groaned, Brylee kissed his cheek, and Che sat down looking smug.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you give a wedding speech."

Kaitlyn stood at the mic, but her eyes weren't on the crowd. They were locked onto Brylee—her best friend, her sister, sitting beside Colin Jost, the man who loved her more fiercely than she ever thought she deserved.