The Inheritance Games Chapter Rewrites

Let It Hurt (Ch. 54 of TIG)

My hand slid from his shoulder and swiped at the mussy hairs stuck to my forehead. Then, I sidestepped him to pace around the room. I wasn't sure how much more beating around the bush I could take.

"I thought that was my thing," he said. I glared at him in passing. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Can you just let me think in silence for a second? I mean, would it kill you to stop making everything a joke?"

"Hey, this wasn't ever going to be a pity party, Heiress. Not my style. I've been honest about that mu-"

"Stop it! Just... stop." I walked over to him and took his hands in mine. "Look at me, Jameson." He did, surprisingly. I lowered my voice and spoke gently. "I know you're not okay. I know you're sad. You have been for a long time. It's caused you deep pain, I've felt that way, too." I felt him go very still and for a long minute, he was quiet.

He exhaled shakily and his eyes were averted. There was the rawness again. "I'm not very good at this, Avery. I'm terrible at hurting."

Avery. He said my name; that's when I knew he meant it. I let go of his hands and cupped his face in mine which made him meet my gaze. I felt like crying just seeing his misery. "I know you are. You can take all the time you need. But you can't fix the issue by avoiding it."

Jameson inhaled sharply and rose to his full height, shaking his head again and went to stand against the wall. "I can't. I'm sorry but I can't." His voice had gone so quiet, I could barely hear him. I followed after him and while I stopped just far enough that he had some space, I still reached an arm out and placed my hand on his back. He flinched slightly but didn't tell me to move it and I didn't retract either.

"Look, I'm sorry that this might be pushing you too far." He didn't say anything. "You can be mad at me like I am at you for tonight but in truth, I think you're just mad at yourself." His head tilted to my side and I saw his mouth open but I plowed on. "You don't have to tell me anything about your past. You don't have to clarify. We can pretend everything else is a game. But not this. You matter Jameson and hate me for telling you that but that's something you'll have to eventually admit to yourself. It doesn't have to be out loud with anyone around. It just has to be you admitting to yourself that you matter because you do."

"I-"

"And I know this sounds worse but there are people who care about you: your brothers, your Nan, your aunt, I think, and you know, I'd even say me. You matter to me, Jameson. I may not know too much about you but I know a bleeding heart when I see one, especially one who hates themselves. I've been there myself, Libby too." That's when I heard the broken laugh.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you?"

I shook my head. "Nope, why do you think I'm still here?" He turned around and leaned on the wall, eyes red and hair covering his right eye but he was smiling that crooked smile. It was raw and edgy but it looked good on him.

My stomach did a little flip-flop. Stop it, now's not the time. I stepped closer to him, swiping at the forelock but when I pulled my arm back, he gently wrapped his fingers around my wrist and tugged me to him. I shuffled forward a little more till I was practically leaning on him and his other hand went to my hip. The hand that was entwined with his was resting on his chest and it seemed like he was mindlessly rubbing circles into the back of my hand as if distracting himself. We stayed in silence for a few minutes which seemed to stretch into an hour. Finally, Jameson spoke up.

"Listen, Heiress, I owe you an-"

"I forgive you."

He shook his head. "Nuh-uh-uh. Not so fast. You got to give your little speech without interruptions. Now that I am in the mood to talk, you want to interrupt? Tsk-tsk." I arched an eyebrow at him and he simply winked. His voice lowered, "I'm warning you though, this might be a shitty apology." Oh, I'm prepared for that. But I didn't say that out loud, just nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Hmmm-ahh. Hah, I'm already failing this. I'm sorry for what happened back there and here. I know it was serious and could've been bad news for both of us." He looked to my wound and brought a thumb over it, air tracing it but hovered so close to my skin that I could practically feel his touch. "I was worried about you, still am." Then through his teeth I heard him mutter something more softly. It sounded something along the lines of "Maybe-something-always." but I couldn't be sure.

"That wound could have been fatal and I am angry we didn't spare that but it doesn't change the fact you're still here kicking. Avery, if there's anything I can give you full credit for, it's your tenacity. I admire that a lot." I felt a smile tugging at my lips. "About the tree thing, um, that's how I learned to push away all the bad stuff, by focusing on the next clue. Those Saturday games helped me learn to focus on one thing even when there was something in the back of my mind. And to your final point; you are right. If I got shot or died, Nash would find a way to bring me back just so he could whoop my ass."

I smirked at the last bit. "I'm sure he would. I could try to protect you, though."

"Heh, you can try. But I wasn't wrong when I said this was a game."

"Jameson..."

"Hear me out. This is a game, a dangerous one and because of the risks and stakes, this," he pointed to my wound, "is exactly what can happen. People will be out for you, more now than ever. But, if you still want to find out why my grandfather chose you, then the reward is considered higher than the risk. However, that's up to you. And I can go back myself because I know these grounds." He stared at me intently and I knew what he implied with the unspoken words. He wants me safe. The feeling warmed me but turned to ice shards because I knew he still wanted to risk himself.

I shook my head. "Jameson, you were with me. I don't know if that person was potentially after you too. I don't want you to risk yourself." What if the bullet strikes its mark this time? I leaned my head against his chest but he didn't let me be that way for long. He cupped the back of my head and made me look up at him.

"Do you trust me?"

"No." He smiled.

"Good. But do you trust that we're a good team?" I bit my lip but nodded in the end. "I can take worse risks, Heiress, and I found ways out of shadier spots. I'll look through the security logs to find a safe path to the tree, I can promise you that much. Also, tell Oren to block that fireplace entrance in your room." I nodded frantically. Then, he whispered the quietest I ever heard him. "I know you don't have reason to trust any of us but me and my brothers don't have anything against you even though Gray was acting like you're a conwom-," I snorted while he briefly smirked but quickly turned serious again, "If there's anything good the old man taught us it was loyalty to each other no matter the circumstance."

I nodded again for what felt like the hundredth time. Then, I carefully wrapped my arms around his upper torso and hugged him, burying my head into his shoulder. His went to the small of my back and I felt him rubbing circles into my shirt like earlier. "Thank you, that means a lot. I still think you're an idiot for wanting to do this but I won't stop you. I'll even distract Oren."

"Great, does that mean I can kiss you again?" I pulled away from him immediately and raised an eyebrow in question. He was smiling cheekily and winked. But his eyes held that same intensity when he was focused and were tempting me. Well? Will you? Before I could think twice, I pulled him down by his hoodie strings and pressed my lips to his hard. Jameson had no trouble catching on and he lifted me up by the thighs, letting me wrap my legs around his waist before readjusting his arms to my back. I also curled my arm around his shoulder and clutched the fabric of his hoodie at his shoulder blade. It was a deep kiss but it was sweet. Ok, so a bit sweet isn't bad.

When we parted, I was panting but he wasn't. What a shocker. Instead, he was observing my face and I could imagine what he saw; the cuts, raw and red, scratches from the bark. Before I could ask anything, he leaned close and pressed soft kisses to each one. I closed my eyes. When he kissed my forehead last and he pulled back, I opened them again to find him smiling softly at me. It made me smile too and I didn't hesitate to lean forward again to give him a light kiss in thanks.

Unfortunately, at that same moment, a hushed gasp came from the hall.