Her Highness

OC SILLY STUFF :333 (fluff)

what is love? people always talk about how its the most amazing feeling in the world, i don't get them.. i haven't felt anything, not even those butterflies. and it drives you insane, making you do unspeakable things.

then i met her. 

in my eyes, she was the most beautiful person ive ever seen. her stunning emerald eyes, her black hair dancing in the wind. the perfect ideal for everyone. i still haven't felt those butterflies.. so its not love, just admiration i guess.

im her guard, protecting her from all sort of dangers, that was what i was hired for. whenever I'm close to her i felt nervous, is that what love is? but it didn't drive me insane, maybe im just imagining things, being close to a royalty is pretty nerve wrecking ,is it not.

i get to see what kind of person she was up close. she was the most kind hearted person ever, always speaking with a gentle tone toward everyone, despite their status. she helps everyone in need. have respect for everyone. everything about her screamed perfect.

Although, that's what myself and the rest of the kingdom saw. until that day. 

i walked into her room in the middle of the night, because i heard a noise and thought she was in danger. thats when i saw.

i saw her, i saw her eating flesh of her own kinds. 'hungry' was what she said. i walked to her devouring the new house maid, blood all over,all over the floor, all over her elegant dress, all over her mouth. such a terrifying scene, a scene that would traumatise every living soul. even i, was speechless. who would expect the kindest soul of the kingdom would have such an appetite. what should i do? should i report this to the palace? should i end here right here and right now?

no. i couldnt do any of it. its not that i couldnt, i just coulndt bring myself to do it. is covering up for her the right thing to do? do i love her? or am i just scared?

 i kept it to myself. i couldnt bare see her suffer, despite this. i didnt want her to be sent to a dungeon or rather worse, executed.

But,

somehow her family found out. they were utterly disgusted, terrified. they witnessed the scene i witnessed. there was no explanation that could've or would have saved her so they threw her to the dungeon, planning to execute her soon. how cruel, was it?

i got assigned to another job, they didn't even question me if I've known she was a cannibal or not. maybe they were still in sudden shock from it that they forgot.

i missed her. the one person on my mind was her and only her. i couldn't escape. i felt like i was going crazy, what is this feeling, i don't know, i don't like it. leave me alone please.

i couldn't help it so i went to see her, in that dark, cold dungeon where she's being held at.

she was in a horrible state. she looked different than before. no, she looked the same, she had that expression on her face, she was hungry. hungry for the flesh of humans. i examined her from afar, and she cut her own skin just to fulfil that appetite of hers. she looked like she didn't want to but she was forced to by herself. she saw me and looked at me.

she started apologising. she was sorry i had to see such horrid scenes. she couldn't help it. she didn't want to. she never wanted to. but it hurts if she didn't. it bothers her, it drives her mad. its painful. it overwhelms her that it leads her to makes horrible decisions. she looked like she was going to go crazy any minute now, crazy, no it wasn't crazy. there was just no choice.

i couldn't see her suffer anymore. it hurts me to see her like that, i couldnt just leave her.. shes not crazy..im crazy..no? she couldnt stop herself from eating just like i couldnt stop myself to not see her? is it the same thing? is it? answer me please. 

so i did the thing i had to do.

she was hungry. so i fed her. i fed her my own flesh. i went into the cell, before that i went to do something else. 

then i offered myself. she looked like she didnt want to. but i reassured her that its fine. aslong as the person savouring me is her. i can die with no regret, what is there to live for if the person i want to live for will soon be gone anyways, what benefit will this life provide me. money? it doesn't interest me in the slightest. all that was on my mind was her.

she couldn't hold it in any longer and starts to rip me apart one by one. im going numb, yet i felt her tears, it touched my face, she was laughing and crying. breathing heavily. it hurts, it hurts alot. but that pain is all worth seeing her one last time.. my head was on her lap when we was pleasing her hunger. is this those unspeakable acts people do when they are madly in love. wait.. is this love?it hurts yet i dont hate it. im feeling butterflies.. shes caressing my cheeks as i go. she whispered something to my ear. that was it, that was what i needed to hear.

oh, and i shouldve told her this.

i poisoned myself. my whole body.every part of me. i know i  couldnt fulfill her hunger forever.im not even enough for her till her execution. so i had no choice. she will collapse in a few minutes, its a painless death. i couldnt bare myself to see her die painfully. shes being as gentle as she could with me in my last moments. i wish she could go, gently. is what im doing a waste? no. i cant bare myself after she dies, so ill die before her. im sorry i dont mean for you to suffer, if i could have done a better job at covering up, you wouldnt be here. but i dont regret my decision. ill do that same if ive been given a thousand more chances. aslong as its just you. i cant feel anything anymore, but ill know ill die with a smile on my face, a smile of love. i wish i couldve told you this directly like a normal person. im sorry, but thankyou for being my first ever love. i love you.