Angelo's sweaty fingertips twirled around his dirt-and-grease-encrusted keyboard as naturally as he breathed in the air in his parents' basement. Today was like every other day in years; another sixteen hours of unhygienic gaming, staring at the bodies of streamer girls, and feasting on the great delicacy of dinosaur chicken nuggets cooked by his mother, alongside a whole half litre of Mountain Dew.
The last memory Angelo had of a somewhat normal life was back when he was still in high school, in 9th grade. But even back then, he had no friends, no academic achievements, no extracurricular activities, not even anything he was remotely good at. On the contrary, he was disliked by students and staff alike.
"Will you let me sniff your used underwear, m'lady?"
"M'lady, may I have a sighting of a singular mammory gland?" *tips fedora*
"Heyyyy, do you want to go have some fun with me later, m'lady?"
Because of his creepy, simp-y behaviour, Angelo received detention after detention, suspension after suspension, until the principal had enough of his antics and finally expelled him, the day before his fourteenth birthday.
And it had been exactly six years since.
In six years, besides confirming he wanted to drop out of the education system, Angelo had not went outside his parents' house a single time. After all, he had no reason to. There was nothing on the outside that would satisfy him more than the affection he received from small streamer girls and VTubers after he donated a dollar or two, from his mother's credit card. Angelo yearned for nothing more than a relationship eventually with one of them, but six years of trial and error was all for naught. Every single streamer out of the dozens he worshipped just thought he was a massively loyal fan throughout the years.
Some, he had asked out after a long conversation on social media, but his immaturity led him to hurl a barrage of insults at the girl after being rejected (for being a unhygienic basement dweller), leading to a deterioration in the relationship, and in one case, being blocked completely.
"I'm such a nice guy compared to all those other terrible men! Why don't girls ever want me? Why?"
Throughout the thousand of hours he spent on internet forums, he had cycled through every incel ideology, eventually landing on the belief that simping for women was the best way to find a girlfriend. Slowly, however, the number of anime body pillows on his bed showed an interesting change in Angelo's mindset. He started to pay more attention to the fictional anime girls on his computer screen, on his phone, on the pillows on his bed. Although Earth had rejected Angelo, fiction had not. And in that moment, he understood.
"Fictional girls are superior to 3D women! They're submissive and don't get pissed off when I ask to see their naked beauty!"
But God (the author) is prone to playing jokes on those most unsuspecting.
The moment those words came out of Angelo's mouth, a neon green portal swirled into reality, replacing one of his basement's walls, mesmerizing him to enter. A piece of paper flew down from the ceiling, directly onto his hand, breaking him out of the hypnosis of the portal for a moment.
Angelo read out loud,
"Then, we shall have an experiment. Don't worry, I'll give you quite a few advantages compared to the locals there."
The paper vaporized right after he finished reading out those magical words. The portal's bright colours sent Angelo right back into hypnosis.
One slow step at a time, in a trance, Angelo's body soaked into the green of the portal as if it was water, until it closed behind him.
YOU ARE READING
Simping in 1984
Humor"Dating in real life is way too hard!" Angelo, a self-proclaimed "Nice Guy" and simp groaned as his finger slowly slid across his greasy, unwashed iPad, deciding which female streamer he would obsess over today. Although already a twenty year old ma...
