If It's The Last Thing That I Do

Chapter Four

"Ashford!" Bobby shouted.

Hestia turned slowly towards him, and he swore he saw fire in her eyes. A raging inferno translating the boiling anger inside her.

"Back off," she all but growled at her captain. "Get her out of here!"

"Hen, Chim, take her to the ambulance," Bobby ordered. He needed to de-escalate the situation before his firefighter lost her cool and hit a civilian.

"Look how scared he is. The predator is now the prey. How does it feel?" she commented, daring him through her words to make a move. "Doesn't feel good, does it?"

She could feel Bobby's presence behind her, and hear his steps on the wooden floor. She was too far gone to care. Bobby reached out, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, trying to pull her back from the man. She shrugged him off,  feet rooted in the ground.

"Hestia, you need to back off," Bobby tried to reason. "This isn't you."

"You don't know what's me or not," she spat. "You're fine with a man like him getting away, but I'm not."

The man in front of her was the embodiment of everything she hated. Standing toe to toe with him, she was regaining her power. The helplessness she had once felt was replaced by rage, and she wasn't listening to anyone. So, Bobby did the only thing he thought of. He squeezed himself between her and the man.

"You don't get to let him walk away. Not him too!" she shouted with barely controlled fury.

"Hestia," Bobby grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Listen to me. If you put your hands on him, you're done - your job, your life. It's not worth it."

Bobby's words seemed to break through her anger as her shoulders dropped. Her eyes scanned his face before falling on the man behind him again.

"He deserves it," she murmured as if that simple fact would make Bobby let her deal with him.

"I'm not saying he doesn't. I am saying that you don't deserve the consequences that come with you taking a swing at him."

Finally, with a shuddering breath, her rage seemed to leave her body. The tension in the room remained thick.

"Take a walk," Bobby ordered.

The woman nodded, her body buzzing with unspent adrenaline. Fists still clenched at her side, she walked out of the apartment under her colleagues' gazes. Outside, and alone, she broke down, letting out a gut-wrenching scream. 

A couple of minutes later, the red and blue lights of a police car joined the ones of their truck. The officers passed in front of her with a single nod before disappearing inside the building. She knew that she'd have to answer for her actions but the moment that woman had signaled being abused, nothing else had mattered. Eddie and Buck were the first ones out of the building. Eddie did not utter a word and got straight away in the firetruck. Buck, however, took a second to squeeze her arm: a silent gesture filled with so many words. It only lasted a few seconds, before he got in the truck too.

Bobby was right behind them, and he was fuming. Booby stopped in front of her and didn't say anything at first.

"You've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do," he declared. "You better have a good reason for what has just happened."

"Captain, I..."

"Not here, not now," he cut her off. "Get in the truck."

She breathed in deep before getting into the truck. She could instantly feel the eyes of her colleagues on her, but she didn't have any strength left to care. She didn't even bother putting on her headset. Instead, she let her head rest on the window. The coolness of it was a clear contrast to her burning cheeks.

She took her phone out of her uniform and opened her text application. There was one person she could talk to about this.

So, I fucked up. Big time.

Call that hit close to home?

I thought I was gonna kill this man.

Might not be in the firehouse long enough to give you anything.

Do you want to set up a meet-up?

Please.

After your shift. I'll send you the address.

Turned out, she was a pro at crossing lines. She had crossed one tonight, and the one with Agent Quinn had been crossed a long time ago.

Once back at the firehouse, Bobby headed straight for his office. Buck had seen Bobby this pissed once, and it was when he had snooped into his black-leathered notebook. He had done it out of pure curiosity and frustration at the distance the man kept between him and the team at the time. Despite all the stints, Buck had pulled, Bobby had never been quite this pissed again. It was close that time he climbed the crane after Eddie got shot but not quite that bad.

After getting changed, Buck decided that he had too much energy to go to the bunk. Instead, he had every intention to hit the gym. What was done now was not to do it in the morning. That intention went out the window the moment he spotted Hestia sitting on the stairs.

"Can I sit with you?" he asked tentatively.

"Not sure I'd be great company right now," she answered, tears in her voice.

"You're always great company," Buck retorted, sitting down next to her.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. The silence of the night was interrupted by the quiet cries of the firefighter next to him.

"What have you got here?" Buck tried, noticing that she was clutching something in her hand with a dead grip.

Without a word, Hestia opened up her hand, revealing a vintage gold necklace. The pendant was white with an angel engraved on it and was a locket. She carefully opened it with her thumb, revealing a small portrait. The portrait in the locket was worn out, either by time or because of the poor quality of photos at the time. Maybe both. But, the woman in the picture was the spitting image of Hestia.

"That's my mom," she confessed, her voice thick with emotion.

"She is a beautiful woman."

"She was," she corrected him, her fingers tracing the edge of the pendant.

"I'm sorry," Buck murmured, unsure of what else to say.

For whatever reason, Hestia was confiding in him. It was not what he had expected when he had sat down next to her, but he was grateful. He was gaining her trust, that was not nothing.

"Me too," she replied.

The silence of the night stretched between the two. Buck was unsure, and Hestia was lost in her thoughts.

"Do you know what you are going to tell Bobby?" Buck finally asked.

"The truth," she mumbled. "That's the only explanation anyways."

"Can...", Buck started, uncertain of his approach. Hestia was in a vulnerable state and he didn't want to add to that. "Can I give you a hug?"

"That'll be great, actually."

Without another word, Buck draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her slightly against him. At any other moment, the difference in height and size would have been funny. Buck was just glad he could provide some comfort.

Catching movement behind him, he caught Bobby looking at them from the loft, thoughtful.