Chaos!

It feels surreal

I don't actually feel like writing anything right now. But I know if I don't I will either self harm or walk out of something that my head is telling me to. What is the purpose of human being been born into this world? Everyone has a goal and a dream.... Didn't we just exist to survive and slowly die. When did life become a battle of pursuing money, sex and purpose? Well I sure don't know any of it. As far as I can remember all I asked for was stability and peace. But how do we get it? Did I even work for it? I grew up fucked up hating humans and isolating thinking and believing I knew people and how to filter the toxic ones and trust the good ones.... Alas! Fucking dreaming aye? Noone has and I mean noone has till date not fucked me up in some way and I mean I get it we are all humans and maybe not maybe I am sure I fucked up so many lives too. But sometimes things get me questioning... what did I do so wrong to someone or something in this life or was it from my past life or why was ai given a life like this? How much pain can one person take? Do they get better and grow stronger and destroy every stereotype that I am thinking of right now? Will I grow stronger and fucking let go of everything that had hurt me? I will... I will and I swear I will. The day will soon come when I will vanish off everyone's life and nomore fucks will be given. A day will surely come when I will sell my soul to the devil and give up all the good inside of me and with only pure darkness I will walk. I will destroy every bright and good that has surrounded me. I am done being fucking weak and trying to understand and be empathetic to not hurt anyone. Fuck that fuck everything and fuck me. Cheers to the evil era again... sorry to the promise I will break.