Red Thread of Hate

Cheat Code to Happiness

You huffed, taking the plate onto your lap. “Very funny, kid.”

“You're getting bitter, I guess it's the aging process.”

You winced, your shoulders slumped and you sighed, completely defeated. Okay okay, maybe she was right. You should probably try again if you really want to compromise or come to an agreement or at least live together in peace. Even if you don't really like it, being the first to extend your hand.

“You know, you're not the first of the two of you to extend your hand.” Maha muttered and you looked up at her. Wait, did you say that out loud?

“Uh, did I say something?” you asked confused

“Hm? No, why?” she looked surprised by the question, “I thought it was worth… discussing this topic.”

Okay, fair enough.  Still a little weird coincidence.

“Well, will you expand on your thoughts then?” you asked

“I mean, well, he wanted to help you today, right? So the fact that you want to talk to him about it probably won't look like you, you know, suddenly want to reconcile. If this worries you, for some reason.” she shrugged, pulling her legs up and sitting cross-legged. “Sooo… Will you call him?”

“What?” you blinked

“To talk.”

“Kiddo…” you set the plate down on the table with a groan, “He doesn't have a phone.”

“Oh.”

***

You sat with your hands under your thighs on the couch, waiting for Alastor to come home. He had to come back sometime, right? He couldn't just go away for, you know, seven years, for example! Fuck, what if that happened and your last words to him were some insults? You groaned, leaning back against the couch, even though you still hurt like hell. You were tired and a little sleepy, it was almost midnight.

Maha left about three hours ago, leaving the things you needed on a table nearby in case you needed help. She offered to stay, but you decided you couldn't just expect her to run around you like your babysitter.
Besides, you didn't want her to see you thinking about everything, probably even overthinking.

You exhaled, closing your eyes and arching your neck back. You didn't like the fact that the guilt was gnawing at you from the inside like a termite on wood. You just hoped it wouldn't take so long for the pest to eat you from the inside, leaving you only an empty shell.

You quickly opened your eyes, lifting your head, definitely moving too fast because you hissed immediately at the burning sensation in your back. You blinked at yourself, realizing that you must have fallen asleep for a second or two. However, you were woken up by the sound of the door squeaking and you glanced down the hall, sincerely hoping it was Alastor. Nobody would break into the Radio Demon's house, right?
You looked at the darkness taking over most of the living room you were in, and the corridor, as the only source of light was the fireplace near your feet. A silent prayer repeated in your mind like a mantra as you weren't sure who was in the house with you.

“Bam- er, Alastor?” you asked, quickly correcting yourself. This wasn't the time to be sarcastic towards him.

You heard the soft click of heels, so quiet that if you had been breathing louder, you might not have realized the sound had occurred. A second later, two red dots and a golden smile flashed in the complete darkness, and you let out a loud breath at it. Ironic how a sight that caused fear and horror to others was a source of relief to you.

“I was convinced you were asleep.” his voice echoed in the room, the radio filter returned as if the situation from the morning had not happened.

“Yeah, no, not really. I was waiting for, um, you.” you bit your lip, feeling yourself blush in embarrassment and you hoped he couldn't see in the dark. “I wanted to talk.”

An awkward silence fell between you. Or maybe it wasn't awkward? Only so heavy, as if the air had just gained several kilograms of weight. Christ on the skateboard, if you two stay like this any longer, you'll suffocate.

“So let's talk. I don't understand why not.” After these words, there were a few clicks of heels and after another blink, you could see red eyes right in front of you. You assumed he sat in the seat in front of you, but you didn't know if that helped you or made it worse.

“Listen, I'll be quick because I don't want to beat around the bush, okay? I apologize for this morning, and I'm doubly sorry. Like, I'm sorry for touching you without asking and for calling you names or something. You wanted to help and I acted like an idiot so… yeah. Sorry.” you blurted out quickly, looking down at your knees as you tapped your fingers on them. The award for the best apology goes to…

“As for the first point, there is no point in elaborating on it.” he replied calmly, and this calmness was worse than if he had been angry and screaming. Which, by the way, is extremely difficult to imagine. “ Simply putting some distance between us will be a good solution. As for the second one, well, I assume it's something like an eye for an eye.”

“What?” you asked confused.

“For my earlier behavior when you decided to be the first to solve our situation, of course. It was idiotic of me, I didn't think you could be honest about it, but recently I came to a similar conclusion. See, I think we should probably find some common ground.” You heard him move in his seat. You pressed your hands together, not blinking to catch any sweet name, like darling or dear.  You've obviously crossed the line.

You tapped your foot, your knee trembling and your leg bouncing. Great, have you now even ruined your chance to find a compromise? For now, interpersonal interactions are definitely not your strong suit. Not that they ever were.

“Listen…” you started again, trying not to sound desperate, “I know it sounds like an excuse for my behavior but maybe, I don't know, can we start over? Clean slate? No hard feelings?”

“I actually assumed you'd want me to apologize. Throwing someone against a wall is not an… ordinary reaction.”

You shrugged, but remembered he couldn't see you.  “Eh, it was my fault too, so I guess it's one to one. Besides, you already apologized this morning, and the fact that I didn't listen is, you know…”

“I see.” you could tell he nodded by the way his eyes moved in the dark. You hid a yawn with your hand, but you guess you weren't as sneaky as you thought. “Actually, I think we should talk about this in the morning, you look like you're falling asleep.”

You blinked. “But-”

“Tomorrow, everything. Now you're going to sleep.” He stood up and you frowned, but a moment later you felt a hand on your shoulder and you flinched. “I'll take you to your room. Talk tomorrow when you're rested.” he picked you up and you wrapped one of your arms around his neck, not commenting on it. Your cheeks were already red enough, you didn't need to embarrass yourself further

“Uh, I have one question, though.” you said quietly and he made a soft, questioning sound. “Will you explain to me why you took the bedroom if you don't use it?”

He looked at you out of the corner of his eye. “Wait until tomorrow and you will get your answers, dear.”

You groaned. But at least pet names were back.