hold on tight

what kind of future

"you have terminal brain cancer."

what?

terminal brain cancer?

"doctor, this can't be true," levi choked out, looking at the doctor desperately.

no way that this could be true.

"levi," allia whispered, putting a hand on top of his, rubbing it slightly. "let's hear what the doctor has to say, he said he wanted to tell us two pieces of news."

"ms allia, you only have a month to live."

levi slammed the table, standing up and stormed out of the room.

"i'm so sorry, doctor," allia apologised, "you see, we just got married two years ago and this is very sudden, you see."

"its alright, ms allia," the doctor replied, playing with the ring on his hand. "in fact, i am the one who should be sorry. i truly did not mean to drop such a heavy bomb on you."

"its not your fault, doctor," allia said softly. "in fact, i knew this was going to happen sooner or later. my mum had terminal brain cancer too and i figured i might have it. i just didn't expect it to be so fast..."

"i understand, ms allia," the doctor empathised, sighing loudly. "i wish i could do something to help you, but i too, am helpless. all i can advise is write your will and passwords down, so its easier for your loved ones, when you're gone."

when you're gone.

that sounded so far away for allia.

yet, all of that was going to happen in a month.

"thank you, doctor... i will note it down..." allia smiled as she grabbed her purse and ran out of the room, frantically looking for levi.

"levi?" she called out, worry and panic filling up her entire body. "baby, please, where are you?"

"allia..." levi replied, walking out of the bathroom, his eyes puffy, his nose red. "don't leave me..."

"oh, levi..." allia frowned in sadness and worry. "i was worried... please don't ever ever storm off like that again..."

"you're going to leave me..."

"it's in the future, levi-"

"the future is soon!" levi cried out loud, emotions raw in his voice, his tone, his eyes. levi rarely showed vulnerability, especially not in front of allia. he was always the rock in their relationship but knowing that his anchor, his lifeline, his reason, was about to die. he couldn't take it anymore. "the present we're living in was once a future too... and i can't see the future... not anymore... not without you. what kind of future is this if you're not by my side!"

and with that, levi fell to his knees, his hands running through his hair like a madman trying to find any piece of sanity left in himself.

allia, seeing his sadness, immediately knelt beside him, her heart shattering into pieces. "oh levi..."

"aren't you scared?" levi asked, tears flowing freely down from his eyes. "because i'm scared shitless without you." 

"of course i'm scared, levi," allia laughed softly. "i'm terrified, i don't want to know how it feels to die. but even when i'm gone, i know i'm still going to love you with all my heart."

"don't say that!"

"it's the truth, levi..." allia sighed. "come here, hug me."

"okay."