Spiceism

Gun - An Idiot

Tone: Seeee...

I am allot of things and an idiot is definitely one of them.

An idiot who fell for someone she could never have.

He is a yakuza, the prince of Yamazaki, he is in all aspects a heartless man.

He's everything bad and still, I somehow fell head over heels for him. So much so, that I couldn't think of anything but him. Everywhere, in everything, I saw him.

I know I can't have him. It's too dangerous.

Despite that, I somehow find myself outside his house, tears flowing down my eyes as I bite down on my lips. Fuck, I'm an idiot.

He comes out, looking so majestic and untouchable- even though all I want to do is run my hands down his rough body.

His brows scrunch and a frown forms on his face as he sees me crying. He shows me emotions. He cares for me. Why did he have to do that and make me fall even harder for him?

"What are you doing here?" He asks, his deep and firm voice sounding like music to my ears. After a beat of silence, my mouth opens on it's own accord. "I want you." I hear myself say. He stiffens and his eyes ever so slightly widen.

"What do you mean?" He asks even though he knows exactly what I mean. I walk towards him untill I'm almost touching him. I look up at those black eyes and put my hand over his heart.

"I want you." I say more sternly this time. "I know you're a bad man. A dangerous man and we probably can't even be together but despite all that, I want you. So please, turn me down so I can stop wanting you. Tell me you don't want me."

He looks at me almost shocked, as if I asked him to hand me the fucking moon or something. As if I said something I shouldn't have. As if what I said had a huge affect on him.

"Go on. Tell me that I don't matter." I whisper, my voice coming out softer than I wanted.

He just had to turn me down.
Just say those four words.

I look down to where my hand rests over his heart and take a deep breath, ready to hear those four words which will break me but will help me move on.

Instead, I hear nothing. I feel a rough and calloused finger wipe away my tears. "I can't say that." He finally says and I look up at him confused. "Why?" I whisper and he stares into my eyes, desperately looking for something. "Because..." He starts, his other hand wrapping around my waist. "Even if I say it, I won't mean it."

Then, he slams his lips into mine with an overwhelming intensity.

With a single hand wrapped around my waist, he effortlessly lifts me up, pressing my front against his as he walk inside the house.

I'm by no means skinny and am quite tall and yet he makes me feel so small and precious and fragile. His coldness makes me feel more comfortable and wanted than anyone else.

I hate him for it.

I hate him for making me love him.

He sets me down on a table as his mouth devours mine.

I can feel him holding back. His kiss is incredibly powerful and the fact that he's holding himself back scares me. And, makes me wet as hell.

His hand rests on my hip whilst the other is lightly wrapped around my neck.

I wrap my legs around his waist as I pull him as close to me as possible. His hard and rough body molds against my own. I greedily roam my hands through his chest, fulfilling the cravings I felt all those times he was infront of me.

I gasp as he swiftly removes my top, leaving me with just a bra and skirt. He sucks on my neck, leaving hickeys. I let out soft groans of pleasure as I rub my pussy against the table in an effort to create friction.

Gun seems to notice that as his hand grips onto my hips, forcing me into place. He moves down, landing soft kisses on my collerbone whilst his hand carresess my hips.

He suddenly takes a step away, all of a sudden looking like a giant. His eyes had a manic glint, the look of a predator about to hunt it's prey.

He eyes my body down in an extremely unholy way. I move my hands so I can fold them, insecure about the folds of my stomach.

Before I can properly raise my hands in the air, two larger hands force them down. "You're beautiful." He says and I gasp.

I never ever thought I'd hear him say something like that and that also to me.

I feel my cheeks heat as I break eye contact.

He removes his shirt, exposing his toned body. Then like the devil himself, he walks towards me and puts his hands on either side of my hips pushing me closer to him.

I look at all the scars adorning his body. He is covered in scars of murder and yet, I trust him completely.

He unhooks my bra, leaving me bare chested.

I look up at him, drunk in love. He roams his rough calloused hands through my body. I gasp as he touches the tip of my nipples. "You're so soft." He whispers and I lightly smile, pushing my legs together.

He lifts me off the table, walking with me in his arms into a room. He plops me down into a bed.

He hovers over me, kissing and sucking on my nipples as he lightly massages it. I let out soft whimpers, roaming my hands through his hair. A feeling foreign to me consumes me. No one has ever touched me like this and I am afraid that after experiencing this, nobody except him will be able to.

With his free hand, he unzips my skirt before softly pulling it down.

I gasp, feeling his hot breath on my skin. I am completely bare and vulnerable infront of this monster. This monster I so pathetically love.

He sucks on my thigh, dangerously close to my pussy.

At that moment, I feel a desire so profound and whole that I am rendered stunned. The enormity of my desire disgusts me. And yet, I do nothing to purge it.

Rather, I close my eyes and let myself be claimed by him.

I accept the fact that I too am a monster for loving one.