Finding the Truth

Chapter 1 *Edited*

        When I finally made it home I was out of breath but on time. Ignoring the clench in my chest, I opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped inside.

Since I wasn't greeted with a yell right away, I figured he was with someone and took this as a chance to head upstairs and change.

With careful steps, I began heading up the main staircase to get to the attic. I made sure to stop at the top of them to gaze at the portrait limply hanging there.

It was odd to see my own blue eyes stare back at me, and it was a painful reminder as to why I would never see them in real life again. But that's why it still hangs on this wall, to serve as one.

"Mom! Mom!" I ran inside and away from the party going on outside towards my mother who was sitting on the couch. She opened her arms with a laugh and I launched myself right into them. I had always been small for my age and at 12 years old I was the size of a fifth grader.

"Is it true? Is it true? Is it true? You're going to have a baby?" I let out a huge squeal of excitement and bounce up and down. Dad laughed at my enthusiasm while Mom gives a smile while nodding.

The door to my room opened after a few kicks to the bottom of it.

There wasn't really anything special about my room besides it being the one place my dad never entered. There was a mattress lying in the corner with a couple of blankets on top of it since I never bothered to get an actually bed frame. I had a desk for homework with a small cramped bookshelf next to it. The only other piece of furniture was my dresser which was full of pictures on the top of it.

With a sigh, I drop my bag next to the door and walk over to my dresser. After grabbing a pair of grey sweats and a long sleeved black shirt I head into the bathroom.

Since there were still chores to be done, I just took a quick shower to get the paint out of my hair. When I was done I quickly made my way to the kitchen to start on dinner.

(Time Skip brought to you by Deidara's clay bombs)

It was just about 4:30 when I had just about finished cooking the pasta. All I had to do was add a couple of things to the sauce and it would be fine.

All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pull on the top of my head and I was torn away from the cutting board, slicing my palm in the process.

"And just where have you been, you brat?" Dad hissed in anger into my ear as he held my hair in his tight grasp. "Don't think I didn't notice you going to your room before you started cooking."

I gasp but resisted the urge to grab onto his hands, "I'm so sorry, sir! I had an accident and needed to shower so I wouldn't track dirt inside your kitchen!"

He let go of my hair but roughly grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. I bit the inside of my cheek to avoid wincing in pain, only to regret it as he proceeded to hit me in the face. Next thing I knew, my mouth was filled with blood.

"Just be lucky that Jen is staying the night otherwise you're punishment would be harder than that." His steely gray eyes glared down at me. "Now go to your room and stay there the rest of the night. I don't need her thinking anyone else is in this house."

I nodded in fear and hurried out of the room. The sting in my eye did nothing to prevent me from running as fast as I could to the safety of my room. Thank you Jen, whoever you are.

The girl who stared back at me was pathetic. With a fresh ring of violet surrounding her eye, the dull blue color inside seemed to be even uglier in my mind. There were small scars littered around her face and neck, some fresher than others. Blood dribbled down her chin until she had the sense to spit it out into the porcelain sink.

For a while, I just stood there. My brain pounded in my skull as I thought about everything but nothing all a once.

Logic screamed at me to clean myself up, the sensible side of me tried to get me to leave the bathroom, to go do my homework, anything except stay in here.

But it was as if I was an autopilot. I was watching myself do everything but couldn't do anything to stop it.

I just accepted it as I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the exact-o knife I kept in there. I just accepted it as I ran the blade along my arm to watch the blood flow down my arm.

They say people cut themselves to release chemicals in their brains that bring relief and pleasure. In my case, I just believed I deserved it. I deserved the pain, and I deserved the ugly scars. Besides, it was the one form of pain that I could actually control.

Speaking of control, I could finally feel myself become aware of my own actions again, if that makes sense.

With a sigh I stopped myself from making another mistake and put the blade away.

"Come on Megumi, you're better than that," I mumbled, beginning the clean up process.

With my wounds all disinfected and my arms bandaged up, I finally took a breather and plopped straight done onto my bed.

Thankfully none of my teachers had decided to assign any homework today so I didn't really have anything urgent to take care of.

For a while I just lied there, too exhausted to move, but unable to fall asleep. Instead I let my thoughts wander aimlessly until I decided to think of something positive.

Like my friends.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata have been my friends for a long time. I wish I could say for as long as I could remember, but even they didn't like me at first.

When they had heard about the accident at my house, they were the first ones at school to come up to me and ask me how I was doing.

After a while of warming up to each other, they welcomed me into their arms and have made school so much more enjoyable to be in. They were patient with me and even if I can't always hang out with them they understand and just reschedule or make sure to fill me in on everything I miss.

I could never compare to any of them. I would never be as intelligent or fiery as Sakura, as kind or elegant as Hinata, or as cool or bold as Ino.

Sometimes, I just feel like I didn't belong with them. Why would such kind and amazing people want to be friends with someone as worthless and vile as me? It was the one thing my dad and I could agree on, so why couldn't they see how disgusting I was?

I clenched my eyes shut and softly groaned into my pillow. "I'm doing it again," I whisper.

With a huff I push myself up and begin talking to myself in an attempt to distract myself. "Ok, Megumi. You can do this. Only a couple more hours until he's asleep and then you can sneak downstairs for some food."

I get up and walk over to my abandoned back pack and dig through it to find my sketchbook. "Besides, you've got a couple of drawings that you need to finish anyways."

So with my plans for the night in place, I sat at my desk and began doodling.