𝙎𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙮/𝚂. 𝙽𝚊𝚐𝚒

𝙨𝙞𝙭𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣

'I hate seeing myself naked.' I thought as I stepped into the shower. I doodled on the steamed up glass to distract myself.

'I hate my hair since he used to touch it.' I drew a little cat but the water washed it away and I scratched the bottom of my chin.

'I hate the way I can still feel it.' This time I drew a puppy. Maybe the only thing I thought about to keep me sane was animals.

'I hate the way I lie about it.' This time I drew little chibis of people I know, starting with Michael. Haha rat tail.

'I hate that it could happen to someone else.' This time I drew Seishiro, putting his signature x as a mouth.

'I hate that there's both medical and police records of it.' I sneezed onto the glass and ruined my drawings. I wiped it over as I grabbed the shampoo bottle.

'I hate that I had to kill something to rid myself of the evidence it happened.' I applied it and tried not to let it get in my eyes.

'I hate I have permanent evidence it happened... evidence that can't be burned in a fire.' I rinsed the shampoo out, using the conditioner next.

'I hate when I get my period and it feels the same as the blood that used to stain the bathroom tiles.' I closed my eyes and let out an exhausted sigh before whispering to myself. "Why am I back there during every shower..."

'I hate how I couldn't let anyone touch me for months, even my brother I love the most in the world...' I grabbed the body wash with a shaky hand.

'I hate that washing myself makes me remember his smirk.' I squeezed my sponge till all the soap ran down my legs.

'I hate the scars left.' I closed my eyes, letting my tears fall to the floor. No one would notice.

'I hate how this will haunt me for the rest of my life.' I actually started washing myself, trying to hold back my small tears.

'I hate that it happened over five years ago... its too close and still feels like yesterday.' I ran over the scar left on my hip. A straight scar that's now white like I had been cut open. Which I was.

'I hate how the nurses used to pity me.' I put down the sponge as I finished washing myself.

'I hate how my doctors said I can't walk to much or it'll hurt.' I grabbed my razor I stared at it.

'I hate how when I got back my father asked why the clinic called him about an abortion.' I put the razor down, scared I may hurt myself.

'I hate how my brother got beaten for taking me there.' I raised a hand to my throat, remembering the look on his face as he choked.

'I hate... how my brother lied to me about saying he was used to it. I hate how he said it didn't hurt anymore. I hate how even though I blamed myself he wouldn't let me. I hate how he would hug me even though I cried, since when I was alone I just ended up coming to hug him later. I hate how he called me brave even though I was broken. I hate how he praised me for living, like it wasn't something so many people do. I hate... I love... my brother.' I smiled. Even though I hated his actions sometimes... and the way he acted.

I love my brother.

Note: haha, happy birthday to Nagi.
He wasn't much in this chapter but with the chapter 260 leaks I couldn't help myself. Ah she's like a broken record isn't she. I had this idea for a while but with her and Kaisers background it just made more sense she could be um taken quite easily without supervision.