Time after time

I'm forever only yours

Noah remained silent for a few moments, continuing to walk as if he too was juggling what to say and what not to say :
- I remember a party during my first year where I went with Brian. A girl tried to seduce me and then I told her I wasn't interested because I had a girlfriend. She asked me where you were and I had to say you weren't there. The feeling of loneliness I felt at that moment was intense. It was the evening when I called you straight away when I came back to my room and you were with Marco." He said to me as he finally stopped walking and turned to me putting his hands around my waist. "I was jealous, I hated knowing you were with him. I think I would have given everything to take Marco's place. I'm just happy to have made you mine for life, Elle!

He then gave me a passionate kiss in front of the Hawaiian sunset. I couldn't have asked for better.

Noah POV

During this trip, I tried to give us enough time to relax and recharge our batteries before returning to Boston for another academic term and also to do fun things together. There were days when I was just happy to be able to enjoy my wife in a bikini all day! And also to be able to drag her towards our hotel room to calm me down a little. Luckily our room wasn't on the 10th floor...

I also booked a few expeditions including a 5 hours one to Manoa Falls. We were able to explore the rainforest and I was surprised by the number of plants growing in this forest. This made a big contrast with the vegetation of LA which is much more desert. The guide explained to us that volcanic islands are often more fertile. Volcanic activity greatly enriches the soil and allows for a diverse and luxuriant flora.

This outing was fun and the photo of Elle and I at the base of the falls was beautiful.

It was only in the evening when we were back at the hotel sitting in the restaurant in front of a superb Hawaiian sunset that Elle said to me some really profound things about our outing that I will remember for the rest of my life. She was talking about the richness of the volcanic flora when she told me :
- It reminded me of a discussion I had with Abby following the famous Valentine's Day auction.
- Oh, I really not wanted to hear about that! Greg was so stressed about a possible breakup and I was stressed myself about how you were going to take things. These really aren't good memories" I told her, taking her hand and playing with her fingers.
- Abby was really questioning her relationship with Greg at that time. She told me that she couldn't believe that a relationship in which she experienced so much anger towards the other person couldn't be healthy.
- And what did you answer her?
- I would have liked to have had the image of the volcano to present to her at that moment." Elle said to me with a big smile.
- What do you mean?
- I don't know if you remember our psychology class in the fall semester?
- You mean the class where you sat next to me?
- Yes, this class!" she said to me with suspicious eyes.
- Sorry, I may have been a little more distracted in this class than in the others. I do not really know why.
- You mean the moments when you let your hand caress my thigh, higher and higher!" Elle said to me, bursting out laughing.
- There were many ends of class that I was just thinking of getting you back to my room as quickly as possible. There were weeks when we really ate in a hurry before heading to our afternoon class." I said to her with a wink.
- It's true and you managed to pass by reading my notes." she said to me before we both burst out laughing. " Anyway, to remind you of the lesson you didn't listen to, anger is a normal reaction to injustice. Feeling angry is normal but that's what you do with it. Today we saw all the beauty of the flora of a volcanic island. But if the volcano spills its lava, it is the destruction of this beauty. So, anger is good but it's what you do with it. Did you let it explode and also who did you direct it towards? In the auction situation, was it normal for Abby and I to experience anger? Yes, otherwise we ask ourselves questions about fidelity in the relationship. But you and Greg didn't even know about the situation. Our anger should not be directed at you.
- Wow!" I said to her with admiration. "You never thought you'd go into psychology, Elle! It's completely crazy how you were able to come up with lots of practical applications to this famous psychology course. You are better than all the psychologists and therapists I saw during my adolescence.
- I don't know! It's probably because you have more interest in listening to me than the therapists you had to go see.
- Probably! But you are still really talented!" I said to her, kissing her hand.

This conversation was a turning point for me. I have long remembered this day of hiking with Elle but also this evening in this restaurant by the sea. Very young, I was involved in fights and known for my short temper. None of the psychologists I met helped me as much as my wife did that evening. To realize that anger is a normal feeling but that it's what I choose to do with it that matters. Do not let it explode like a volcano that will devastate everything but direct my energies towards positive actions towards the right person. It really helped me and even later in my future role as a lawyer. I also believed for a long time that I was not the right guy for Elle precisely because of my explosive temperament. But knowing that my anger can be healthy and that it was up to me to direct it appropriately was so liberating. And above all, I felt particularly blessed to have my wife to accompany me on my life's journey.