Since Day One - Max Verstappen X Male Reader

Chapter 5

“But surely if you love him nothing else matters”

“I wish it was that simple Zhou but I love racing as well and if I create a media catastrophe no team will want me, not even Sauber, so I have to be on my best behaviour”.

After a while of talking Zhou heads back to his seat and I try to get some rest however all I can think about is Max. I can hear his voice echoing in my mind. I'm hoping that a week away from him will provide me with a chance to sort of erase him from my mind and clear my head of all thoughts about him.

I've never had a serious adult boyfriend, I had one when I was a teen but that was when I was infantile and the true meaning of love was just an alien thought in my adolescent mind. I had never experienced love, but with Max I think I am. It's such a strange feeling that is both warm and comforting but intimidating and scary. I have always cowered away from commitment and love because I never thought and still don't think I'm capable of it.

Racing is the only thing I have truly loved in my life but it's a different type of love, without racing I can't imagine where I would be.

But as the constant questions pace through my mind I do eventually manage to drift off to sleep for a while before the wheels touch down in Shanghai.

Disembarking the plane goes much smoother than boarding it and after we collect our luggage from the crowded baggage carousel we emerge into the rain and wind of Shanghai and even for March the rain is quite strong and heavy but Zhou informs me that this is normal for China.

Everything is written in Mandarin so me and Yuki are heavily reliant on Zhou to navigate us around this country and he eventually flags down a taxi and says something to him in Mandarin that I don't understand at all. But despite not speaking the same language the gentleman's demeanour is claiming and reassuring, he is a middle aged man with a bright smile I would expect to see on an outgoing teenager.

During our journey he points out lots of things and tries his best to explain them in English but Zhou helps translate and he tells us about all of the Iconic landscapes and best places to eat. It's also nice to see Zhou happy at being home, and I feel a sense of jealousy as I haven't been home or seen my family since before the season started as I had to move to Switzerland to be close to the factory and office which meant I had to leave my friends and family behind. But I suppose I'm lucky that Ollie is in F2 and a Ferrari reserve and I get to see him quite a lot at the races. When I first met him I always thought he would make it to F1 before me, and as he is apart of the Ferrari Academy I was almost sure he would, but instead it was me who only had 1 year in F2 and a few drives as a development driver for a team at the bottom of the grid, however I see the irony that I have joined a team that is (was) at the bottom of the grid.

I do reminisce about my days as a development driver for Williams. I always had great fun, I got to drive cars and not have to worry about coming first and scoring points all I had to do was provide feedback and that was it. When I first joined the Wiliams development program everyone thought I would debut for Wiliams, they had already started creating contracts for me but if truth be told I could never see myself in a Williams or a Mercedes, I don't have a so called “dream team” that I want to be in, making it to Formula 1 is my dream so I already have everything I want.

Zhou had booked an apartment for us to stay in rather than a hotel which is more convenient and private, as I initially step out of the car the smell of the local flowers that are starting to blossom as we approach springtime fills my nose.

The apartment is located on the outskirts of Shanghai away from the tumultuous scene of the bustling inner city and I'm grateful to be somewhere much quieter and peaceful for a change.