✓│𝘐 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶 (Bella Ramsey x Reader)

13. Commit

"It's more." They gave in, their tone now filled with emotion as you were almost sure you heard them sigh just like the way you had done seconds ago. "It is." You said, pressing your lips together as you opened your eyes again. The two of you weren't fully out of the woods yet, but it was scary to initiate things like this.

You didn't dare to speak up again as you waited for them to talk. In your opinion, you had said enough, and were now waiting for them to confirm what you were thinking. In the short amount of time this conversation had been happening, your heartbeat managed to double in speed. You swore that even Bella, on the other side of the city, was able to hear your heart beating the way it was.

Another sigh could be heard from the other side of the phone as Bella prepared themself to speak up once again. "I just don't want to tie you to something that probably won't last." They explained, leaving you with an even bigger frown on your face than ever before. This wasn't what you were expecting to hear in the slightest, and you found yourself fighting back the tears that were already building up.

"What? What do you mean 'won't last'?" You shrugged, almost offended by their harsh statement, as you couldn't help but take it very personal. "Canada." Is all they said, leaving you with an open mouth as your mind tried to come up with words, but couldn't find any that were appropriate enough.

The silence you created was broken quickly as Bella let out another sigh. Your name fell from their mouth in a way it never had before, grasping your attention as you felt like you were sinking in your bed. "I don't want whatever this is to end." The brunette admitted, seemingly wanting to say something else. 

"I-" They started, but weren't able to finish their sentence as their thoughts overtook them, leaving you in silence once again. "So what? You quit?" You shook your head, an almost angry expression on your face as you couldn't comprehend what you were hearing. 

The fact that they were willing to give up what the two of you had so easily made you regret everything that had happened up to this point. "That's not what I'm saying! I just don't want you to have to deal with any of that. I don't want to hurt you." They quickly defended themself, but you continued shaking your head, your eyebrows furrowing once more.

"Bullshit." This time, a soft sigh could be heard as you tried to remain strong. The last thing you wanted was for them to know how much the past few weeks had meant to you. Without wanting to hear any more of their whining, you hung up the phone.

Your room felt strangely empty filled with the silence you had just created. There was no way you were going to let Bella affect you on this level, absolutely no way. You quickly got on your feet and continued your day as you figured you had more to do than lay around with a strong melancholic feeling in your chest.

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The next few days kept you both busy and distracted, since you still had a lot to do in preperation for the movie you were shooting. This involved a lot of hanging out with Emily, who you wouldn't be seeing for a while when you started filming.

A huge part of you were glad to have the distraction, because you didn't even need to face Bella this way, which gave you a lot of strongly needed peace in your head that you hadn't felt in a long time. "So, pink or purple?" Emily asked, catching you by surprise as your spiraling thoughts had taken over your mind once again.

"Uh, purple." You absentmindedly picked, not wanting them to notice how off you had been these past couple of days. This plan terribly failed, because instead of painting your nails, she tilted her head at you, not a word coming from their mouth as Emily waited for you to talk.