Quarter Life Crisis: a 9-1-1 buddie fic

And when I couldn't sleep at night

They've gotten so close ever since that school fire occurred.

"I don't want to go." Amelia crosses her arms and sets the giraffe on the couch.

"Why not?" Eddie talks to her while I get paper plates and plastic utensils out for the food that he bought.

"She hasn't told me why yet." I frown at Eddie who is still staring at the flower bouquet.

"I want to go to school with Chris." Amelia says again and I can't believe that she has this much energy at 6:30 am.

She got less sleep than I did.

Eddie looks over at me setting the table as if he requires my input. 

"Mils, can you please go get dressed in your room before breakfast? I can do your hair if you need help." I sigh watching Eddie stand there watching me.

"Do I have to go to school today, dad?" I watch her frown.

"Not today, love." I let her run off to her bedroom to get changed while I talk to Eddie.

Once she is out of sight, I turn to face Eddie who is busy putting the flowers into a vase that I had laying around in the kitchen storage. 

"She's being bullied because of her health diagnosis. Eds, what do I do? Shit. I have to call Bobby. Can you make sure she eats breakfast while I call the station and Maddie?" I sigh and lean close enough to his shoulder that it looks like we're hugging.

We still haven't talked about the stairwell kiss yet.

Amelia comes first. 

"Don't worry about it. I already told Hen that you'd be off a few days so she has to put up with Chim's one liners herself. Buck, when was the last time that you took care of your body and mental health? As a army vet I know a lot about stress and feeling like your failing your kid." Eddie says while walking me over to the kitchen table where the food is probably getting cold.

"You got me flowers?" I ignore his response about stress and sit at my seat.

"Chris insisted on getting them to brighten Amelia's day. Not in a romantic way, but as a good friend supportive way. He talks about Amelia all the time." Eddie says even though I am pretty sure that he is lying. 

I can't stop thinking about our stairwell kiss. 

What does this mean for us as co-workers? As friends? And as parents?

"Hmmm. So Amelia's been asking me about switching schools so that she can be closer to Chris. I don't know Eds, I never envisioned myself putting my kids in a private school. Doesn't Chris go to school with other kids like him?" I bite my lip since my words are probably all messed up this early in the morning.

Eddie reaches out and puts his hand over mine under the kitchen table. I can't help but feel a bit nervous and shaky about it because at work we never hold hands.

"Your shaking Buck, you sure your okay? I can take Amelia grocery shopping while you rest?" Eddie changes the subject again while I try to avoid kissing him since Amelia is in the room over.

He's only holding my hand in a best friend way, I tell myself. 

"I'm fine. So what kind of school does Chris go to?" I let go of his hand abruptly in case Amelia comes back. 

"He's in a program for students with learning differences at St. Mary's. It was quite a fight to get in since Shannon needed to sign some paperwork and sit in an interview." Eddie sighs quietly while looking sad. 

Oh right, his ex wife who passed.

"I want what's best for Mils and what will make her happy. If I have to fight and sit in interviews to get her closer to Chris than I will. She doesn't seem to be happy in school. I never hear her talk about friends or sleepovers." I say quietly since Amelia is still around.

I wonder if she's having trouble picking out an outfit for the day. 

Her food is getting cold and she doesn't usually need help getting dressed now that she's a tween.

"It'll get better, Buck. Sometimes change is good for kids. Sometimes it's not the best choice for the parent or the kid." Eddie gets up from the table and picks up one of the take out dishes to microwave.

Oh yeah, breakfast. 

I wonder if he's talking about our relationship getting better or Amelia's life?

We are still in the best friends that kissed each other zone and it sounds teenager like and immature. 

I don't want to ruin Amelia's relationship with Eddie if I ask him out. 

I'm about to go help him microwave the food when I see Amelia peeking out from the corner wall.

"Dad, can you braid my hair into a fishtail braid and ponytail?" I watch her hand the brush and hair ties.

"Yes, of course. Go sit at the dining room table. I'll bring breakfast." I look over at Edie is admiring my parenting skills in awe.

Sometimes I don't know how he does it with Chris who has CP. I don't know how I do the parenting stuff alone. Maybe i am just used to it by now. 

"Don't you have a shift to get to?" I look over at Eddie who has brought me a plate of microwaved IHOP food after I brought Amelia's plate over to the table.

"It's my off-day. I am planning on running to the supermarket and heading to the local children's hospital to donate some things Chris outgrew." Eddie watches me braid my daughter's hair while she eats.

Maddie taught me everything that I need to know about beauty, hairstyling, and girls' interests. 

"Eddie, can I ask you a question?" Amelia says after taking a sip of her orange juice while I am trying to get her to sit still for the braid.

"Yeah, what do you need, little Buckley?" Eddie says while I attempt to block out his sexy voice to concentrate on her hair.

"Why did you bring flowers for my Dad?" Amelia says and I almost lose the braid that I just completed.

"Chris wanted you to have them to brighten your day. He says that you owe him a Nintendo Switch battle soon too." Eddie says while I try to focus back on her hair without thinking that the flowers were for me.

"Oh, that's nice of him. I will thank him when I see him next." Amelia says while hesitating as if she has more to say. 

What is on this child's mind?

Why won't she open up to me about the school bullying? 

And why is it that Eddie is making me feel so nervous when he only came over for breakfast?

I can't fall in love with him, Amelia has a mother.

What happened in the stairwell doesn't need to be discussed again.

I may be bisexual but I am not a heartbreaker. I don't want to ruin Eddie and Amelia's relationship.

I have a fear of abandonment and people leaving me after rejection just like my daughter, she gets it from me. 

I have to protect him from that.