𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 | Seongjoong/Ateez ff

Chapter Thirteen

He jolted when Yunho's hand came to rest on his shoulder. The warm touch seemed to set his skin on fire and his mind was diverted once more from what it should have poured all his attention on.

"Mingi, you seem overly tense. Is everything okay?" Yunho's concerned voice reached Mingi's ears once more to ground him back to reality as Yunho tilted his head to meet Mingi's zoned out gaze.

Mingi had to blink a couple of times for his brain to register their close proximity. Yunho wasn't so close to his face that he could feel his breath, no, but he was almost as close to. Mingi's body froze as he observed Yunho's gentle brown eyes, his teal hair held back by a thick red headband, his nose that even if some people would consider not one of the most beautiful in Mingi's eyes was absolutely perfect. His eyes lingered when Mingi's gaze reached Yunho's lips, the beautiful bow of his upper lip, their pink reddish colour. They were oh so kissable and Mingi would sell a liver if it ment he could lean forward and capture them with his own.

Not literally obviously. Maybe.

When Yunho nudged his shoulder once more Mingi got finally out of his trance. He embarassedly looked to the side opposite of Yunho in an attempt to hide his blossoming blush.

"Sorry, I was thinking." He breathed out. He really hoped Yunho didn't pick up the trembling of his voice, even if he would find out why either way once Mingi would finally gather the courage to confess.

Yunho's gaze relaxed considerably at Mingi's words, even if he didn't seem less on edge.

"What did you want to talk about, Min?" Yunho smiled reassuringly even when Mingi could easily pick up on the concern hidden behind his eyes.

Mingi's mind immediately got reminded of his reasons and he turned hastily around to face Yunho, who leaned back startled by the sudden movement.

"You know, about the break up..." Mingi took a deep breath. His whole body tingled with nervousness, but he had to do this. 

"...What about it?" 

"Me and Hongjoong... I didn't like him anymore. We broke up because of that. And I..." Another deep sigh left his lips in his attempt to mantain the most of his determination as he could. "...I realized I love someone else."

The expression of shock on Yunho's face almost made Mingi reconsider, almost made him give up and run away to hide in the comfort of his apartment. Because how would he explain to one of his bestfriends that he had developed feelings for him. And Yunho had never even mentioned if he actually liked someone, Mingi suddenly remembered.

If Yunho already had feelings for someone else it would make Mingi's every attempt futile.

"...Yunho I-"

"You love someone?"

Mingi hesitantly nodded. With every second his determination seemed to lapse and slide away from his grasp.

"I do. And I called you because-"

"Oh my god you never even told Hongjoong that you loved him! I'm sad for him of course but this is huge news Mingi! Have you told the person-"

"I'm trying!!"

Yunho's mouth abruptly closed shut. Mingi could almost see his brain working behind his wide eyes. Part of him hoped Yunho wouldn't realize, but the other part was waiting just for that. He could feel his stomach acting up, his anxiety wouldn't leave him alone. He just hoped he wouldn't feel the need to throw up now that he finally managed to say it.

"...You love... me?"

Yunho's voice was barely above a whisper, laced with confusion and probably even fear. Mingi gave a weak nod avoiding Yunho's gaze with all his might. He couldn't bear to see the look on Yunho's face. Not when it seemed so obvious that what was awaiting him was a rejection.

It was horrible. Anxiety was pulling at his insides like a rough beast, tearing him apart. Why was it so hard to confess to someone? It was the first time Mingi had been the one confessing his feelings, every other time it was someone else confessing to him. He suddenly felt respect towards all the people that ever confessed to him, it must have took great courage.

"Min... are you serious...? You're just joking... right?" Yunho breathed out, eyes wide in astonishment. Mingi by now was just a bundle on nerves. He couldn't bring himself to talk, nothing that made sense could get out of his mouth anyway. He slowly shook his head, meeting Yunho's eyes again with his own.

Indecision was evident in Yunho's expression. Maybe it was because of the suddeness of the situation. Mingi was sure Yunho was just contemplating on how to turn him down kindly, he knew however that no matter how gently a rejection was given it would hurt like a bitch either case.

He gripped tightly on the hem of his shirt, bracing himself for what was to come, when Yunho's voice filled the air once again.

"Mingi... I- Thank you... for telling me... and for loving me... I- I'm sorry I- I like someone Min. Sorry."

There it was. The rejection he was expecting and dreading at the same time. He forced a smile on his face, altough it would probably look pained and distorted. His eyes were stinging, but he couldn't cry. Not with Yunho present, because it was not his fault Mingi's heart seemed to want to rip itself apart without any pity, and Mingi knew that.

So he pretended it was fine, that it wasn't hurting as much as it actually was and that everything was alright.

"I'm sorry..." 

Ok maybe Mingi wasn't the best at hiding his true emotions.

"It's Alright Yuyu, I expected it. You don't have to worry." His attemtps at trying to rid the other man of the concern that was so evident in Yunho's eyes seemed not to work, so he rose to his feet and turned back to Yunho, putting all his resolve into his grin. "I'mma head home now, bye Yuyu, be safe"

And with that he started strolling through the playground toward the little gate that faced the street to his house.

Needeless to say as soon as he was outside of Yunho's range of sight the tears he was trying to contain so hard just a few moments before immediately started floading from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, and dropping down from his chin, leaving little occasional wet spots on his shirt.

They didn't leave him alone until he reached his apartment and dropped himself on his bed between sobs.

Until, even with the sun still high in the sky, sleep decided to take him away from his hurtful reality, lulling him into a peaceful slumber.

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Turbulence started playing while I was writing the end of the chapter I-