𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐘 | callum turner

017, I'll wait

" screw him, I'm spending my last night in Italy sipping on lemonchello!" I state.

I take about a half hour to get ready, the adrenaline and nerves that pump through my blood most likely the cause ( that and the shots me and Chiara do off the bathroom counter).

She calls us a car from our house to the party location. My confidence in my decision wavers on the ride over there and it hits an all time low when the car pulls up outside.

The pads of my fingers anxiously toying with the chain of my necklace. I can hear music, I can hear voices and laughter and if I think about it enough I could pick him out. I know his laugh and voice anywhere. It's a skill as much as it is a burden.

" come on, it's our last night." Chiara grabs my arm and drags me from the car towards the garden where this little party is taking place. Our late arrival most definitely going to stir attention our way, which I am not looking to.

We lead towards the doors as I shake my head, "wait, wait, wait!" I say, unlocking myself from her. Moving my hands to my stomach, which begins to churn.

It's all in his hands. I remind myself that all the choices I've made have been made on what I feel. I remind myself that I've done what I can, and that foremost that I've done nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.

Taking a deep breath, my head lifts and my chest feels evidently lighter — looking up to Chiara allowing my lips to curve into a smile.

" come on." I walk towards her, linking our arms back together and laugh when I feel her press her lips to my cheek.

And when we enter, I don't search for him in the room. Instead my eyes fall to our fellow cast members and the way that they cheer when they notice me and Chiara,

" she's back from the dead!" Ryan cheers as he wraps his arms around me and our size difference means when he straights his posture my feet lift slightly off of the floor.

" better late than never, right?" I smile as he nods is head — slightly tipsy already as he presents finger guns and a wink of his eye.

His arm soon sliding around my shoulders as he hums " come on, you're far too sober." he says.

Unable to control my laughter as I'm lead towards the small pop up bar — smiling as Ryan orders us shots ( and lots of them).

I watch as the bartender hands us two small glasses of tequila each. And as I wince as Ryan clinks our glasses and I have to prepare myself for what I'm doing.

Screwing my face up as I shoot both shot glasses and stick my tongue out as if it will give any relief ( it doesn't).

The night progresses, we dance and talk. I take more shots and ask the bartender to fill Ryan's with water instead of tequila. And I hold back my smile when he still thinks he's shotting alcohol and makes that bitter face when he swallows it.

And I lean against a cabinet, looking at my phone and answering the texts I haven't answered — most in reply to photos I've sent in my non-sober state. Chiara and the other cast members said something about skinny dipping and as much as I laughed it off, after a half hour of not being able to find them, I think they were serious.

A hand extends out for me. I look up from my phone and he's stood there. The first time I've seen him tonight. And here's there, in front of me in all his beauty. the soft light of the fairy lights illuminates him as there's a soft smile on his face.

" come on olls," is all he says, as he nods towards the bare dance floor as I furrow my brows.

" you want to dance?" I hum and he nods his head, and I let out a small laugh " with me?"