Reddie oneshots

I Thought You Only Liked Me For My Pocket Worms

"Oh," she laughs. "I thought you were already cancelling on us. Just bring yourself and your nicest semi-formal outfit!"

Eddie doesn't like the mischievous look in her eyes, but he shrugs and let it go, telling her he'll see her then if not before, and letting his mind wander to what the hell he should wear.

***

Richie picked up on the third ring. "Hey Bev, what's up?" he answers, finally resigning himself to having to face her and try to get out of going to her latest shindig, but trying to play coy and pretend that he has no clue why she's calling.

"Somebody's been avoiding me!" She singsongs loudly, so as to be heard over the sewing machine he can hear in the background.

"Do I need to have a little talk with Bennie about how he should treat my favourite ginger?"

"Don't play dumb, Tozier. I've texted you five times about Saturday, and it's been radio silence for days. If got have plans, there's no way they can be better than this so you can cancel right now because you're coming."

"Ugh, I don't wanna, Bevie. If I get asked to tell one more story about what it's like to work with Tom Hanks, who, remember, I barely even met, we recorded our lines separately, I'm gonna lose it. I'm done, I'm drained. This monkey can't dance anymore."

Bev's well acquainted with Richie's lagging interest in the celebrity lifestyle. He's known her since middle school, and despite being something of a celebrity herself, she's one of the only people he can be real with.

She knows bout every heartbreak and knee pain, every long night spent awake, worrying about his career, and every depression spiral. She's the one that comes to him when she can, opening the curtains and windows and airing his place out, switching out his beer for water and making him eat vegetables, sometimes for the first time in weeks. She'll let him cry on her shoulder, holding him and stroking his hair as the tears flow, assuring him that everything will be ok.

When she can't be there, because of work commitments or because he's in Chicago or LA, she'll send healthy takeout and a maid service to give him the push he needed to get out of his slump.

"It's not going to be like that this time, I swear. Did you forget that Stan and Patty, and Mike are coming this weekend? It's just gonna be a small thing."

Truthfully, horrible friend that he is, he did forget, too preoccupied with his own shit to keep track of the group chat and the conversations within.

"No, of course not. I just didn't realize that you weren't inviting anyone else."

"Well, I'm not," she replies. "Except Bill and Audra. They finally finished filming that movie in France. Aaaaand our new neighbour Eddie." She finished quickly. She's mentioned the guy in passing before, Richie remembers now. He's a newly divorced risk analyst who wears a fanny pack and favours bland polos and ill-fitting khakis if Richie recalls Bev's ramblings correctly. He doesn't exactly sound like a fun time, but Richie isn't going to pass up seeing his friends while they're in town, not that they would let him.

"Ok, he sighs, "I'll be there. What time again?"

"7," she reminds him. "And don't be late. Also, bring pastries from that shop next to your building. And get a haircut! See you Saturday! Love you! Bye!"

She hangs up before Richie can respond, so he just stares at his phone for a minute before setting a reminder to get up early on Saturday so he can get the good pastries before they're all sold out. Bev will be pissed if he shows up with raisin scones again. At least last time he'd gotten to enjoy the full box he'd been sent home with alongside his coffee the next morning. People need to stop hating on raisins. They really aren't that bad as long as you don't bite into the scone expecting them to be chocolate chips.