And man was I right, you were something/someone I was completely unprepared for. After 6 months of working together and getting to know one another we became inseparable; I no longer knew what it was to spend a day without you. We became attached at the hip, hell even a few times Dani thought I was replacing her with you. But I loved spending time with you, you have a way of making me feel seen and heard, and whenever you play with my kids my heart just melts, I feel accepted.
I feel whole.
That's when I knew for sure that this was something different than an ordinary friendship...
I was falling for you...
--------
FMB
"Before we close out students, parents I/we just want to thank you for coming out and supporting this event. Please take whatever you like from the refreshment table. And remember that all these services are free, we just want you and your children to know they're not alone and there are people who want to help. Thank you. Have a goodnight." With that Dani bid everyone farewell before walking off stage approaching Taraji and I while doing a little dance. "Aaahhh guys I can't believe we did it!!" Pulling us into a big hug jumping up and down we pulled away smiling. "Now Ms.Taraji just because we finished this doesn't mean you get to disappear on us." Giving a "mmhm" to cosign we turned to her raising our eyebrow looking at her how we look at our students when they know better, making her blush.
"Oh hush, I would never you guys are stuck with me, where I go you go" slapping my arm giving me a knowing look "plus I can't disappear when I promised to tuck in my lovebugs." Smiling, I'm reminded that she did promise Zion and Dallas that she would tuck them in tonight since she couldn't last night. "Andddd we have a baby shower to plan!!" Reaching out to rub Dani's protruding belly that she definitely couldn't hide anymore now that she is 7 months. I still want to kick her ass for not telling me but I'm slowly letting it go.
"Yesss, speaking of which mama's you have exactly one month until your shower so if you want anything for certain let us know ASAP." Squinting my eyes at her giving her that look because if anybody is the queen of last minute it would be her. Waving me off she went to speak just as my phone started to ring. Stepping away I glanced down, seeing Antwaun Dallas's father and my soon to be ex. Letting out a huff I answered "What"
"Come on baby, don'tbaby don't be like that, "I said I'm sorry. " I can't control them wanting me to stay longer." Rolling my eyes, it's always the same excuse and I'm tired of being a single mother when I'm not a SINGLE mother.
"Look I can't, I can't do this right now, I can't do this with you I'm done Antwaun. I'm tired of this and the back n forth. Do you, I'm going to do me, you can call and see Dallas whenever. Bye" uugghh I hate this. Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turned meeting those beautiful brown eyes, they were like a pool of milk chocolate I just felt warm all over when she looked at me.
"You ready to go chocolate" I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped, she still hasn't stopped calling me that since that's all she thought of when she first saw me. "Yes clumsy, stop mugging. Let's go, we got to get my babies anyway." Nodding her head she grabs my hand sending tingles up my arm. We waved goodbye to the rest of the faculty. Looking around for Dani, she let me know that she had to get going. Dennis didn't want her driving too lateto late. Making it to the car I opened her door checking she was in, closing it I went to my side. Starting up the car we headed to my mom's.
"Was everything ok on the phone? You looked a little tense." Peering over at her I focused back on the road.
"Yea, I guess it was just Antwaun." Nibbling on the corner of her lip, "Go ahead you know I'll answer anything penda"
"You are the only person who calls me that." Peaking over she was looking out the window with a slight blush to her cheeks. There goes that feeling again...
"Good you're my penda panda and I don't like to share," sending a wink her way we pulled into the driveway. Honking the horn I waved back at my mom. I started to get out until Raji stopped me and said she got it. Sitting back watching her interact with my mom grabbing the kids and their bags, she places a kiss on her cheek and bids her farewell. Holding Dallas in her arms and Zion's hand, she helped them into their seats while keeping up with their conversation matching excitement. Climbing in the car we got back on the road to make the short journey home.
"Hey gumdrops, you forgot about me" Giving a pout through the mirror causing them all to laugh.
"Looks like you have to share me after all." Sticking out her tongue she poked my cheek before going back to entertaining my babies until we made it home. "Come on my lovebugs let's go take our baths so we can do storytime!!!!!"
"YAYYY!!!!" They ran in the housing leaving the two of us behind shaking our heads. Picking up their now forgotten toys we headed towards the bathroom to start getting everything ready. Times like this I appreciate the help it makes me feel less alone, even though we aren't a family it felt like we were. I wish I had this with Antwaun but even when he was home I was stuck doing everything alone. I was always alone.
"Hey thank you for doing this; I could've just read to them I know you're tired from today." Sitting down their soap, starting the bubble bath she turned to me.
"Nonsense you know I love spending time with them... and you" nibbling on her lip she grabbed her ear, "plus I don't want to be alone tonight with everything coming up this week I could use the company." Pulling her into my arms, she started to relax snuggling into my chest. Pecking her forehead I rubbed circles on her back telling her it would all workout and to breathe
"Mommy, RahRah we're ready" Letting out a laugh at the sight of them both in nothing but underwear and a diaper holding hands with Zion carrying a bucket filled with bath toys. Pulling out of my embrace, Taraji pecked my cheek, mouthing thank you. Turning to the kids she grabbed them up blowing raspberries on their bellies causing them to squeal. Helping them out of the last of their garments we placed them in the tub. After playing with them, we got them cleaned up and dried off.
"Come on lovebugs grab your jammies." Running to grab their pj's they raced back. Quickly putting them on, climbing into Zion's bed they cuddled into Taraji ready for their story.
"Night night mommy it's RahRah time" zion said placing her thumb in her mouth. Faking shocked with my hand on my chest, Taraji tried to hide her giggle.
"Wow kicking mommy out I see how it is." Pouting I pucker my lips for a kiss from my babygirl. Leaning up she quickly gave me one before snuggling back into her spot, kissing Dallas's forehead. "Nighty night gumdrops sleep tight." Giving the three of them one more look over I exited the room cracking the door.
"Okay lovelies what story do we want tonight, option 1 princess and then the frog, option 2 the little engine that could or option 3 a RahRah original?" Hearing a bit of silence she spoke again "option 3 it is come on let's get comfortable. Once upon a time..." Peaking through the door I couldn't help but feel that feeling come back and my chest started to tighten. It was beautiful, Dallas playing in her hair while she made finger shadow puppets to go along with her story making Zion's eyes light up. She is beautiful the way she treats my kids and how she checks in on us, and just how she makes time for me. It hit me...
I love her
-------I was falling for you and hard September 22 was the day that I knew that I loved you, and it scared me. Here I was falling for a woman all while still being married to a man I no longer wanted anything to do with.
The letter pt.2
Start from the beginning
