I fell in love with the boy i bullied

Is it love?

Once i woke up i ran out the door and left. Suddenly i heard justin
I turn back around and run trying to avoid him I turn back around to see if he was still following me but I bumped into a rock had chest and turn up to see Justin again? Wtf how did he get in front of me so quick!!!?

"why did you leave?" He whispers

"Leave me alone thanks for letting me in your house but your just a nerd hso leave me alone! So go home!"

I say harshly ,he looks at me with hurt in his eyes and slowly nods before walking away I turn back around and walk slowly to my house I felt bad for some apparent reason I felt so many emotions right now confusion,sadness and I hate to admit this but love.? I shake my head out of my thoughts and head upstairs two my 2nd floor apartment/flat and unlock my door , grab an apple and quickly walk onto my room once I get there I jump on my twin size bed yeah I'm 17 and I have a twin size bed but who cares I love it! Lol well Idk why I still kept thinking about Justin I didn't bother thinking twice before finishing my apple and hugging my teddy bear once I snuggled into my bed covers I doze off to sleep

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I woke up with a huge head ache which happens to me when I dream of something because i usually don't dream. But when I do I wake up with a huge headache I walk slowly slipping my slippers on and walk to the kitchen I grab two Advil and a bottle of water and go back to my room my brother was in his room and my dad was working and so was my mum and my grandparents well they were who knows probably down stairs at my aunts house who cares I want to watch tv uh oh Im moody again!? That only means one thing I run into my room and look at my iPods calendar yup I'm getting my period! Fuck me fuck me fuck me! I hate my period! I ignore it and jump under my light brownish blanket and fall asleep again

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I woke up the next morning feeling sad and hurt still but I ignored it and brushed my teeth then went to take a shower feeling fresh I quickly changed into a yellow and black plaid shirt with my blue polo skinny jeans and my brown Uggs and straightened my hair after that I added a bit of mascara and some eyeliner ,grabbed my purse and walked out trying to put a fake smile I sped off to my best friends houses and picked them up we talked about anything and everything finally we made it to school and hopped out right before the bell rang once we got to our seats we started chatting and I told them everything about Justin and they kept saying I was in love with him but I ignored it like really how could I fall for my nerd? Crazy Right? Haha I just laughed at them and walked to my locker I saw Justin laughing with his friends once he saw me he put his head down and walked away I banged my head against my locker I slowly closed it grabbing my bar code for lunch and headed to the caff once I grabbed a bag of chips and a orange juice I sat at my "popular" table with all of the followers that do anything for me just to sit here I sit in between my friend Danielle and jordan and and began chatting I just ate my chips quietly and drank my juice while my friends just stared at me suddenly I feel two warm hands hug me from the side of my waist and look to see jordan you see jordan is my guy bestfriend and I love him alot and idk what I would do without him he hugs me tighter and I just smack his arm playfully showing him that I can't breath he smiles and keeps eating he knows I'm not ok I give him a small smile and continue to eat I look around the caff and spot Justin just staring blankly at his food not even touching his nachos? But he loves nachos. He seems so sad I see Danielle staring at me and Justin and she goes up to him and smacks his head into the nachos he quickly runs away I'm guessing to the bathroom everybody start laughing except me and Eliana and Daniela I mutter a brb and run after Justin

"Justin!?" I yell through the halls

"Justin!?" "Justin!" I suddenly see a back figure in the boys bathroom I know it's Justin. not caring who sees me I walk up to Justin and grab a napkin and gently start to wipe away the hot cheese from his face but he just walks away ok harsh much? "Stay away from me remember I'm just your nerd?" He says with tears In his green orbs I look away also with tears in my eyes and say

" Justin look I'm sorry I feel really bad"

he ignores me and storms out of the bathroom I slide down on one of the walls and start to cry and thats right when I realized that I'm his bully and I can't love him..