I met you in Winter

Heartbreak

Her voice feels like a warm cozy fireplace during a snow storm. My eyes burn as I sit in silence listening to her narrate a question. I stare at the dried up leaves. It's almost the end of winter. Maybe I'm trying to find some hope that we'll work out again. "I was thinking.." I start and realise how stupid I'm going to sound. Pause. "Maybe i should visit you," I feel my nervousness kicking in. There's no noise from the phone. "Maybe if I meet you I could get some closure you know-" "No," she interrupts me. My throat tightened. Strangers stared at me, their stares bled into my skin but I was too numb to feel it. The only pain I could feel was the ever growing ache in my chest. "No I would ignore you," her calm voice drove a spear through my heart forming a permanent wound. Her voice shattered my bones. I gripped on my phone and forced a shallow laugh. I think my voice cracked. Did she notice that? "Are you sure?" My throat dried towards the end of the question. "Yea, I wouldn't see you," she said with a monotone voice. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I drown my mouth with coke, feeling the sizzling slide down my throat. Trying to get words, I laugh again. I definitely still love her with all my heart. Why couldn't we work out? I love her too much for us not to end up together. "I have to go," she dryly spoke. A lump in my throat formed. I don't want us to end. Suddenly everything feels like a blur. We wont end up together. She'll find someone else to love. "Call me sometime," I say like a lost puppy. My voice is cracking. Does she even notice the pain in my voice? "Who even calls their ex?" She replies lowly.
"Just call me sometime," my heart is sinking. Is she really over me already? Did these three years mean nothing? Did I mean nothing?
"Okay."
"Bye," my voice strains.
"Bye Satoru."
I sit alone on the bench staring at the lake, thinking about her. Every morning, I wake up thinking about her. Few days I thought we were still together when I woke up.
At nights I get ready for bed and start texting her goodnight but quickly realise we're not together.
It has started getting worse. I've started thinking about kidnapping her but even if I did, she wouldn't love me. I don't think I'd ever stop loving her. I have no self respect when I talk to her. No one has ever made me feel so hopeless. I take a sharp breath in. Winter is almost over and you're not here with me. She never liked winters; it was her kryptonite . I guess, I am her kryptonite this winter. Everything feels like a nightmare and I'm waiting to wake up. I love too intense.
I wish she.. never gets over me. I wish she never loves anyone else but me. I wish she never stops missing me. By the time I knew it, the sun had already set and I'm still pondering over lost things.
The leaves of winter crunch under my feet. Chill air stings my nose as I tread on the snowy pathway. She loves the cold. I shuffle through my pockets. "Fuck" I curse under my breath. I can't find my keys. I grip my beanie in frustration and throw it at the door. I back track my steps in the hazy cold. My head is light. My vision blurs- Ouch. There's a man in front of me. "Are these your keys?" His voice low but cuts through the silent street. Where are his eyes? I look up slightly to meet his eyes; dark brown. "Uh- yes those are mine," awkward looking at him like this. He holds my hand and gives me my keys. We both wore gloves but from that one grip. I could tell he worked out too. "Thanks," I try to refrain from staring at him. He's a gorgeous man. Black shoulder length hair- god-

"You alright Satrou?"

Shit I was staring for too long but the confusion hits me, "How do you know my name?"