Fantasy Short Stories

The Dragon's Hoard

Brimstone Clutterkeep had more riches than all the other dragons in the land; he also had the most useless crap filling every corner of his cave.

His treasure room had massive statues of beasts whose names were long since forgotten, and towering walls that reached the mountaintop's peak. But what stood out most in Brim's cave was that you couldn't walk through it in a straight line without stepping on something.

"Do you want to keep the knight's armor from the second or fifth dynasty?" I said, pointing to the two heaps of armor closest to me.

"Both. I have fond memories of roasting those knights, Oxana," Brim said, turning his back to me.

"Fine. Next. How about this chess set? It's missing most of its pieces."

"No. I am holding that for a friend of mine. A wizard I met four hundred years ago said he would be back for it. Besides, the pieces are around... somewhere." Brim sifted through random piles of antiques but only pulled out a few items he would part with.

The chamber at the peak of the mountain was freezing. I came prepared with thick leather armor and a cloak with a rune to stave off the cold.

Despite the hide, my growing irritation drove my claws into the flesh of my hips, "Come on, Brim! The Cave Owner's Association is serious this time! They will evict you if you don't get rid of this crap. I've known you for decades, but this is centuries of abuse. It's long past time to clean this place up! I have been here for almost an hour, and we agreed on exactly two things to throw away, and one to give to your nephew. Sorting thousands of items, two at a time, with you is like negotiating with a human toddler." Don't ask me why I know.

He only snorted, ignoring me, trudging through piles and spreading the mess around wider.

"Seriously, Brim, do I have to call your mother? There is a magic mirror right there!" I said. I started to walk over, not waiting for a response.

"Good luck. It's cruising season. She would be flying over the middle of the Great Ocean by now. Besides, it's broken. You could use the mirror the trolls have down by the cave entrance if you need to reach someone." By the casual nature of Brim's voice, this was not a new occurrence.

"How long has it been broken?"

"A few centuries. Not long." Getting up, he moved his lumbering body back to his pile of gold.

I massaged my temples, "One. Two. Three."

"Why are you counting?"

"Five. So I don't kill you. Seven." Brim's avoidance only made me angrier. Demon blood is searing hot, so when I tell you that my blood boiled with fury, I am not being dramatic.

"Okay, how about we do something about the extra gold? We can put it in a bank, and we will keep more than enough for you to sleep on."

"But what if I have guests? Besides, you can't trust banks. What if they go under? Goblins and gnomes operate them."

"Dragon Valley Bank is EFD-insured Brim. It's completely safe!" I attempted to reassure him because this would free up so much room. His face scrunched, and his head tilted at me. "EFD, or Engulfed in Fire on Default. If the bank fails, all the principal owners are charred to bits and served to the Hell Hounds as kibble. Feel any better about it?"

"No... But I'll think about it."

"UGH! Brim, we need to clear out this stuff!" I picked up a jewelry box overflowing with dark magic, "How about these cursed rings? You can't wear them."

"I like leaving them around when a thief tries to sneak in. Sometimes they even try them on right here. The ones with the red gems make them internally combust. Those are especially entertaining." Brim snorted, and fire shot out his nose.