Running In Circles || Nicholas Ruffilo

thirteen

"I need you," he says exasperatedly. I don't know in what way and I'm beyond confused.

"C-can you elaborate?" 

"I have spent weeks, weeks, trying to get you off of my mind. I have done literally any means necessary to get rid of you, to cleanse myself of you, but I can't-"

"What, because we had sex one time?" I cut him off.

"No. No, Cass. Even before then, I hated how much I needed you. I hated how insane you make me, but couldn't keep you away from me, both by choice and by force. I don't know what it means for me, nor if this is even going to mean anything for you, but I need you, Cassidy," he finishes. His breathing is ragged, like he could collapse of a heart attack at any given moment, making me believe him. I would have believed that he ran from the airport to here on foot, actually. 

But then I think about it, too, how much he lives in my subconscious. How it feels like I've started to do everything for him, either for spite or approval. I thought it was because I hated the man, but no, maybe it was something different. 

Maybe it wouldn't be bad to try. 

I step out into the cold with him, and he's shaking, but he kisses me with a certain force that I wasn't familiar with from him. It exuded confidence. I think about how yet again, I am kissing Nicholas on a freezing street. My arms go around his neck, not being able to get him close enough, and his arms go around my waist, not being able to get me close enough. He is simultaneously musky, but clean, but with a touch of cigarette smoke. 

I pull away just enough to look at him, and find him smiling a little bit at me, finding a smile creeping up on my own face. His eyes look silver in this lighting. 

"Do you want to come in?" I offer. He just nods and follows me inside, hauling his fucking suitcase in. "Did you run here from the airport or something?" I joke.

"I took a bus to the airport and it was way too out of the way to take this stuff home first. I figured it would be way more devastating to tuck my tail between my legs and have a suitcase with me if you rejected me, too," he joked back.

"You're right, it would have," I concur, plopping down on the couch and inviting him to join. 

"Do you just always have a chefs knife on your coffee table?" he asks as he settles in next to me.

"You scared me! I never have visitors," I defended. 

"If it were anyone else, I would give you shit about your weapon choice, but I also feel like you'd be able to do some serious damage with that."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, scooting closer to lay my head on his shoulder. I no longer can deny the butterflies that I get from being near him, nor the desire that pools deep in me when he puts his hand on my thigh like he is right now. He really is comforting to me. 

"So what all did I miss?" he asks, the calm bass in his voice and him absentmindedly tracing shapes on my thigh making me a puddle.

"I did my first tattoo today," I all but moan out. I need him bad and he's just toying with me. 

"What? That's awesome! What was it?" he asks as normal as anything, but his hand is traveling up my thigh. 

"Just some lady that wanted 'courage' on her wrist," I match his normal tone, looking him in the eyes. 

"Did it feel good for you?" he presses, teasing the hem of my shorts. 

"It was a little scary but not bad," I answer honestly, hooking my leg over his. I could feel his erection in his jeans as my leg grazes it. 

His wandering hand leaves my leg and cups my face, him turning towards me more. "I didn't know that you wore glasses," he says aimlessly, redirecting the conversation. My body is still screaming for more.

"I don't like them on me," I admit with a chuckle. 

"I happen to think you've never looked hotter," he admits, making my cheeks burn up, thinking about how he has never seen me this natural. Then again, I can't think of the last time that I allowed anyone to see me like this. He finally closes the distance, kissing me slowly and intentionally. Not in the way that he is treating me like porcelain, but like he wants to treat me like his finest China. Like he respects me. Like I'm valued. 

He lays us down on the couch, hovering over me and kissing me like he wants to take his time with me. My hands run through his hair, gripping some of it to hold him to me. Not wanting him to stop anytime soon. He holds onto the back of my neck with one hand while the other holds me around my waist. My back arches involuntarily, pushing my boobs into his chest; my legs wrap around him and he grinds himself into me, the hardness of him and the fold of his jeans offering some pressure. 

He starts trailing kisses down my neck, stopping to peel my shirt off and ogle at me for a moment. "God, you're beautiful," he breathes out before kissing all along my torso; my boobs, my collarbones, my stomach, making me arch more to him. I feel worshipped. He slides off my shorts and kneels before me, taking one long lick of my pussy in warning. "And you taste so good," he praises, making me moan before he starts licking my clit, making me want to launch into space immediately. He reaches up and plays with one of my nipples, making my breathing go even more ragged. Then he sticks one, two fingers in and pumps them in and out, making me absolutely fall apart.

He pulls away from my clit, staring at me in awe. "You going to be a good girl and cum for me?" he asks in that deep voice, laced with lust. I nod through hooded eyes and lay my head back, but he adds a third finger and goes back to licking my clit and I'm donefor. I'm clenching around his fingers, screaming his name out in pleasure as my body fights me, but I ride his face and fingers as I let go on him, and him not stopping until I do. "Good girl," he praises. 

He takes off his shirt and I sit up before he can take off his pants. I move his hands away before he takes away my opportunity to take his pants off. His eager cock springs out as I pull down his jeans, making my mouth water. I take my time with him, licking up and down his shaft, making his head roll back. He moans out when I take him in my mouth, easing more and more in as he looks down to watch me. I can only fit half of him in my mouth, and that's saying a lot. I honestly don't want anything in return, I just want to make him feel good, so I quicken my pace and wrap my hand around the base of his dick and pump it. 

He looks like he's about to fly out of this Earth when he wraps his hand in my hair firmly, pushing himself into me more. "Cass, I'm going to cum if you don't stop," he warns, making me just go even more intense on him. It wasn't too much longer before he stills in my mouth, and that thick warmth coats my throat. I swallow it down and stand up, admiring his fucked-out glassy eyes before I kiss him. 

"Do you want to spend the night?" I offer, and he just nods lazily, making me giggle in response. Giggle? Who the fuck am I? I lead him to my bedroom and show him where everything is before locating my shirt that I was wearing before, not really liking to sleep naked, and throwing it back on. I walk in and see that he just opted to get fully naked, which I didn't mind. I crawled into bed and intertwined my in his, laying my head on his chest and listening to his still-racing heart. 

"Hey, Cass?" he quietly asks after minutes of silence, making me flinch out of my half-asleep state. 

"Yeah?" I ask cautiously.

"What are we?"