374 Days.

Old Buddies

I turn in bed looking for an ounce of energy, I have about half an hour trying to get up, but I can swear that the blankets have an extraordinary weight loaded with laziness in the mornings.

When I finally get it, I crawl to the stairs of the gallery where my bed is and i go down to the bathroom to take a shower, I brush my teeth while I shower, because in my studio apartment located In downtown Milano there is no sink, in fact, the only sink I have is the one in the kitchen, and brushing my teeth where I wash the dishes seems disgusting to me.

Once I finish showering, I go to my bedroom-living-dining room to get dressed, when I take off the towel, I look at myself in the mirror and then, I recognize myself, it feels incredible to recognize myself in the mirror, it has been a year of roller coasters. With the Covid-19 circumstances, many people had a terrible time, many others died, however, that time of confinement for me, thanks to the universe, it helped me rebuild myself after an abusive relationship that almost killed me, exaggerated, I know but it really was a very difficult time, which I find difficult to remember. The Maria Valentina Santini Duque with 45kg and bald spots in her hair is no longer here. Today I am stronger than ever, I weigh 56kg and the gym has had an effect on me, I look spectacular, I feel absolutely incredible for the first time in my own skin, "pretty bitch" I compliment myself before continuing to get dressed.

I sit at the only table available in the apartment to start my work, today I must organize properly, not only do I have a meeting with the manager of a Spaniard oil company, but I also must prepare two financial reports for a mayor in Mexico. I have a job position in the finance and accounting part of a sustainable energy company, yes, it sounds good, of course, I also make good money, the problem? I studied audiovisual production, when I lived in Maracaibo, Venezuela I was a production assistant for an audiovisual magazine called "Magazine 360" and when I was essential, I also produced large events such as concerts and other small ones, such as plays. I got to work at the production level, from Caramelos de Cianuro concerts to the greatest beauty pageant of my country: The Miss Venezuela. All those days seem to be just a distant dream now, a dream life that I had the chance to live once. Since I emigrated, I have gone through countless jobs, I look like a different Barbie every year: I have been the waitress Barbie, the sales Barbie, the technology Barbie, and now, I am the finance Barbie.

The horrendous ringing sound of Microsoft issues brings me out of my thoughts, and it's my boss, Anna. On the call we organize the day and at the end I proceed to do the daily tasks.

In the afternoon when I am in a very intense meeting, explaining to the director of Petro-España what is happening with their account and the disaster they have with payments, as well as what is related to the new orders, I realize that I have 4 missed calls from Luis Miguel.

Luis Miguel Gil Montilla is one of my best childhood friends, I don't know how I met him, but between the ages of 13 and 18 we were inseparable, even though we both grew apart when we entered university. I focused too much on having artist friends and him, friends who went partying every weekend. Of course, he appears from time to time, and we talk to each other every day until we get bored, and each go back to their routine of life. It must be one of those moments, because I think the last time, we spoke I was living in Argentina and that was almost two years ago.

Once my meeting is over, I decide to return the video call to my Luismi, as I affectionately call him, and when he answers he yells "Mary Jane, babe!", that's my penname, because I have red hair, he says I am identical to Mary Jane of Spider-Man, in addition, at one time I also worked as a waitress.

-How is my Luismi Mio? Long time no see babe, tell me everything.

-Santi, babe. – Santi is an abbreviation of my last name. That's what all my friends from Maracaibo calls me. - I'm calling you to tell you that I'm now living in Madrid, I have an apartment near Atocha, stunning, okay? I want you to come now! As soon as possible, I want us to see each other, I feel like I miss you so bad, besides, the other day my mother asked me about you, and I was just with Andrés, my boyfriend, and we spent a long time talking about your ass, come on, babe, come spend holidays here, when do you have vacations? What's your job position now? Please tell me your off with those waitering jobs.

-Baby, I'm working in finance!!! and yes, my team leader asked me last week when I'm going to take my summer holidays, so of course I'm going. love the idea! let me get a ticket that's at a good price and then I'll call you and we'll figure it out, right now I'm busy in some meetings with clients and all that jazz, but let me get things sorted this week and then, you know...

-That's it babe just let me know, I love you forever my Mary Jane!

-I love you bye. I hang up.

Luis Miguel is like an absolutely unbearable little brother that you can't leave, he comes and goes, and when he's in love like this, I take advantage of it and fill him with love. There are also times when he only calls me for his dramas, I am quite hard on him when he is all in on his existential dramas, I think it is one of the ways we express love to each other, him playing the victim, drama king, and me talking to him.

At the end of my work schedule, I run to put on sports clothes and rush out to the gym.

I have Wisin and Yandel on my airpods at full volume while I'm doing barbell squats, today it's legs and ass because Chris Evans, you know.

Then my brain reminds me of him, my platonic love, my possible impossible love, the love of my loves, H, or as I call him Hachito-pie, Hachito delicious, Hachito I love you.

Heinrich Miguel Gil Montilla, older brother of Luis Miguel, my platonic teenage love.

I still remember when I was 13 and saw him for the first time. I knew that Luis Miguel had an older brother, but at that time I still didn't know him.
It was Saturday, and Luis Miguel and I had agreed to meet in the afternoon and play Nintendo Wii. It was the first time that I had fully entered his house. Previously I had only pick him up in the front of the building with my parents to go to my house.

Mrs. Marisela, mother of H, Luis Miguel and Graciela, and my mother had already formed a friendship, so Luis Miguel and I were allowed to spend a lot of time together, we did our homework together, even though we did not study in the same school.

When Mrs. Marisela opens the door, I greet her warmly, and she lets me in, approximately 3pm. Mr. Heinrich was having afternoon coffee while doing what looked like a crossword puzzle, he got up to greet me, and we formally introduced ourselves, since I had only greeted him from the car a couple of times.

Mr. Heinrich tells me something that I don't understand, in a language that I don't know, then Luis Miguel enters the living room and translates for me.

-He is greeting you in French, tell him, "très bien, merci "

I repeat what Luis Miguel says as best I can, and Mr. Heinrich answers something else, I look at Luismi for help to translate for me.

-He says that this is your house for when you want to come. Luis Miguel responds.

I blush and then he enters room, H. The first thing I notice is his jet-black hair, messy and still wet from the shower, the cologne invades the entire place immediately, he was dressed in a black shirt, levies, and white sneakers. My whole world stopped at that moment, "He is beautiful, I think I love him and that I will wait for him all my life," the words resonated in my barely 13-year-old brain in front of this 16-year-old boy.

I bring myself back to reality, and then I pause Wisin and Yandel with their "Irresistible." With phone in hand I go to Instagram and check his profile, "what a man" I think, he is too handsome, he became more of a man, but he is still just as handsome, face of a good boy, thin and pink lips, smile that can light up the whole town, long eyelashes, hair not too long, not too short, he looks like one of those kids who plays golf with his dad on Sunday afternoons. The difference? Now he is a 28-year-old man, and I am a 25-year-old woman, and anything can happen, if the universe allows it of course.

I check to see if he follows me on Instagram and if he does, although I have never noticed if he checks my insta-stories or not. I also don't think he has "liked" any of my posts, I would have had a heart attack.

13 years have passed since that moment back home, and I still see him and think that, if this man interrupts my wedding, Whoever the groom is, I would go with him, and I would go with him. Like, no doubt.

Every time I reconnect with Luis Miguel it is as if along with him my eternal love for H reawakened, I think this time I was rather late in giving him his respective Instagram stalking, could it be that I'm already getting over him? I wonder. I see the last photo in which he has been tagged and my world stops again, impossible, I answer myself.