Captive (JiKyu)

7. 불안

"So you don't remember getting into my room?" Junkyu asked next, sounding disappointed. Jihoon secretly sighed. He himself was also disappointed. It's as if he was burying the truth of a beautiful begining, it was wrong. Very wrong.

"Not at all." He still chuckled, or tried to. He figured out by then, Junkyu wouldn't ask him in words. So, being a little bolder, proving his acts a bit more believable, he dared asking, "Why? Did anything happen?"

He still feared that the younger would spill, but no. Junkyu hesitated before saying, "N-no... I just asked."

Relief, pure relief! Jihoon felt like melting in his seat. He quickly diverted the topic, then silence fell upon them. A quietness so sought for! A quietness between them that prevailed even after their classes ended that day. Junkyu went for his tuition, so Jihoon returned home alone.

He thought he'd be fine, but the incident kept haunting him. In a good way. And because it made hin feel good, he got stressed. It shouldn't, right? He should be feeling like it's a mistake cause he wasn't into guys. Yes, Junkyu's too pretty a man, but he's still a man- he has everything Jihoon has, which is why, they shouldn't be together. Shouldn't be kissing. Shouldn't be thinking about each other. Jihoon found another way to amend it. He opened his SNS, went through the many DMs he received per day. He checked the texts, then selected a pretty, popular girl from their uni who was rumoured to be crushing on him. He sent a reply.

The girl texted back. Soon, they chatted about a potential meet up an hour from then, in a nearby café. Jihoon sighed. He was trying to escape the kiss. It was going to be fine.

The date in itself wasn't extraordinary. Jihoon had his share of dating girls, he just used his experience. The girl was pretty, she dressed up well, decent but chic. Jihoon liked girls like her. He also liked how smart, witty and humourous she was. Honestly, he was enjoying his time. They talked about fun games, music, things they like or not- it was wonderful, he thought about asking for her number until he got a call- from Junkyu.

It wasn't anything special. A small question about where he was- Jihoon told him about the date. Yet, after hanging up, he lost the will to ask for her number.

On the other hand, the girl was pretty excited to continue the talk. They finished what they ordered, so after a good ten minutes, it was time to part. Jihoon was back at wondering about his feelings for Junkyu. No, he was at square one again. That couldn't go on!

So he asked something ridiculous, "Hey, I was wondering if you can help me with the assignment due tonight. Seeing how smart you are, you must have finished it, right?"

"Oh, yeah, I did." The girl spontaneously replied, "You want mine? I can send it to you-"

"Or we can-" Jihoon touched her hand that was on the table, "-discuss about it in my place? What do you say?"

Anyone with brain would understand what he actually meant. Of course, the girl read between the lines. She seemed to hesitate at first, but then, she probably really liked Jihoon- thought it was her only chance. So she agreed shyly. Jihoon let out a breath of relief. He felt strangely excited, but again, a little reluctant.

He shook it off and took her to his place. What he didn't expect was to see Junkyu at his door, waiting to talk to him. It sent chills down his spine, especially the way the younger looked at his date.

It almost looked like Junkyu loathed the idea of him with a girl- or maybe someone else in general.

'No, Jihoon, come to your senses! He probably had a rough day. Probably fucked up in tuition. He most certainly wasn't thinking about you; or the kiss anymore!'

They went upstairs- Jihoon and his date. She took her seat across from Jihoon's, who actually opened his exercise book. But both of their minds were at unrest. She looked distracted, keeping her head low, looking up in a shy manner every now and then. Jihoon didn't want her to suffer. Or keep guessing. The way they pretended to study was so stupid! He dropped his pen. The kiss was the sole problem, right? Well, time to erase its traces from over his lips. With hers. Those lips were also pretty- plump, covered in shimmery pink gloss. Her cherry pink cheeks were a bonus. Jihoon found her very attractive.

He leaned forward. She understood. So she moved up, to be on the same level. Her eyes were closed. Prettily drawn, lashes covered in a thin coat of mascara. Jihoon wondered- weren't beauty and softness what drew him towards Junkyu?

No, there was more. It was the cute pout, the innocent batting of eyelashes, the fear filled submission, the will of paying back. It was Junkyu's personality as a whole. All him. So no matter how attractive she was, Jihoon couldn't but stop before meeting her lips.

"Uh-" he stopped her with a gentle hold on her shoulder, "Well, I think I understand."

"Huh?" She asked, her face was filled with disappointment.

"The assignment, I can manage on my own from here on." Jihoon stated.

"Oh... Cool." She faked a laugh.

"Then.. let me drop you home." He said like a gentleman. The girl didn't protest. Jihoon was so glad that she didn't. He took her down, but before anything, knocked to inform Junkyu, who opened up with a cold, almost unreadable stern expression.

"Gonna drop her home." Jihoon said.

"Hm." The other nodded, showing zero interest. His eyes might have also held resentment? Jihoon felt a bit scared. He didn't prolong the conversation. Junkyu who got the hint, therefore, closed the door. With his past date, Jihoon went to the car, then drove her safely to her place. She thanked him formally, which also indicated that maybe she wouldn't waste her time on him again. Understandable, and pretty relieving too.

On his way back, Jihoon thought about everything. His head was clouded, thoughts jumbled together- in a putty. Hiding from the truth wasn't doing him any good. Maybe he shouldn't have acted at all. He should have come clean, admitted his fault and taken it if Junkyu indeed hated him for that. After all, it was all his doing.

He sighed. A heavy burden of his own action fell on his chest. He reached home, parked the car, then with all his courage, knocked on his friend's door. Hoping to tell him everything. He turned the knob on his own. Like always, Junkyu didn't lock it.

And so the younger was seen holding his phone, saying something in the line, "Yeah, he's back. Let me talk to him first, then I'll call you again." He finished the video call, then looked at Jihoon who was waiting outside.

"Were you talking to someone?" The latter asked.

"Yeah, with Yoshi." Junkyu answered, "I called him cause I was bored."

"Oh.." Jihoon said. He didn't ask for the reason, did Junkyu intentionally let him know?

"Do you want something?" The younger asked again. This reminded him about the first intention- to admit everything.

But no, Jihoon only found himself replying with, "Oh, no. Just wanted to say- goodnight?"

Junkyu's lips opened and closed, failing to talk for a while. But then, clearing his throat, also said, with a bow, "Yeah, goodnight."

Jihoon walked away. He failed again. Just the name Yoshi fucked with his brain. Honestly, who was he to Junkyu? He said the kiss was a drunken mistake, and it's over. It's better that way. Why would he have to dig it out and make them both uncomfortable? Apparently, Junkyu was doing totally fine!

If he only knew- what Junkyu failed to say- for the nth time- was that he was glad Jihoon kissed him- even in his drunk state. Cause he really really liked how it felt too!

-

Thought about giving you Jihoon's pov as well :))