My nickname means forever, emptiness, projection, and meditative mindset/ memorable thoughts of the past.
But the emptiness I have felt without the one I called my best friend?
I'm a Gemini who loves my friends and family, I grew up on a street named Grant, Second building, down, down, down, down you go.
All I see is purple 24/7, You will find me outside, Outside in nature enjoying every moment of life with him, Taking in the wind and the hot sun beating on my face, I'm from the offended over-everything generation.
Love is a little too easy because you get hurt if you fall in love.
Blue and red, these colors are calming for me. But not as calming as he used to be, Not as calming as when he held you in his arms, Not as calming as his voice, God, why take him from us, why make him Ill? The bottle, The bottle caused his problems and death, No one knows why, maybe because his wife wasn't the most incredible person or because of his PTSD in the military even perhaps his back problems?
The world spins with children playing and birds singing on my walk home,
spin, spin, spin, is what the kids do.
A game of ring around the Rosie has been played like memories of my childhood, The emotions seeing the kids play it came like a wave overflowing with emotions,
A ring with his favorite colors remains around my key chain as a memory not of the future without him but of the memories I had when I lost him.
It's been almost 4 years since his passing I want him to know I'm happy for being who I am the real me.
I have real friends who accept me for who I am and are in the same community as I am.
I don't talk to Marget yes she is my only living grandmother, but she is dead to me.
Dead as a wilting rose or the smell of a rotting corpse.
Who knows what the future holds, but my future without her would be the least of my worries.
But what she did to me and left me with I can't undo, nor understand but my huge question is why?
Fishing is what I love to do because he almost always took me fishing
That's until his health declined rapidly
Death, Death doesn't scare me, or at least not anymore.
The Forrest, The Forrest I went in to climb a tree,
Up, up, up climbing, trying to be one with nature again.
I jumped out of the tree, feeling relieved like the thoughts of him could be gone because I could see him again.
Someone caught me, was it someone who cared?
He spoke with his soft caring words
How does he look? I refuse to describe him because of the fact it'd be impossible to say,
The way he held me, brought back memories of the way he held me. I felt safe a feeling I haven't felt in a long time.
Feeling a rush of emotions with sadness,
My thoughts were scattered like when you ran into a group of pigeons.
But the feeling was it love?
No not after my ex, how could I love again?
But he feels different could he be the one who cares,
the true one...?
I couldn't let anyone in not what happened after last time.
It's been about a year since I met the one who kept me from hitting the ground,
Could he be my world now?
When I think about him, all of the negative thoughts avoid me as if I had the cheese touch.
