I'm Nervous at my Central for You

I wish you didn't tell me I was special (Icarus)

Awsten

Wilbur: "Awsten, we need to talk"

Awsten: "Why? What's up?"

Wilbur:"I need to tell you something, I'm in LA, can I come over?"

Awsten: "Of course! You literally have a key to my place you never need to ask if you can come over"

Wilbur: "Alright, I'll be over in 10"

My mind is racing right now, I've never liked Awsten's girlfriend, she has always kinda been a bitch, but I've always been nice to her, I've always been welcoming, but now I can't think straight. Who the fuck does she think she is? I'm driving to Awsten's place with music blaring from my speakers, but my mind is clouded with confusion and rage. Why would she do this to him? He didn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve him. I arrive at Awsten's apartment complex much sooner than anticipated, probably because I was spending the whole way. I quickly get out of my car and run into the building. I reach Awsten's apartment and knock on the door. Awsten answers immedietly, like he always does.

"Wil, what's wrong?" he asks me, he can clearly tell I'm upset. I storm inside his apartment and sit on his couch, overwhelmed with emotion.

"It's Hannah, I think she is cheating on you." I spit out bluntly. I couldn't bring myself to tell him kindly. His eyes go wide and he looks like he is about to cry, when he suddenly becomes angry.

"What the fuck do you mean you think Hannah is cheating on me? Why would you even think that? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He starts yelling, which scares me, Awsten almost never yells, especially at me.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?! Why are you mad at me?! Do you think I'm lying to you or something?!"

"YES!" he responds angrily "Hannah would never do something like that to me! She was right, you're just trying to pull us apart!"

"Awsten what the fuck do you mean?!" I yell, I hate fighting with Awsten.

"You've never liked her! She has been warning me about you ever since we started dating! Obviously she was fucking right! You're jealous aren't you!?" He walks up to me and stares me in the eye. I stand up and stare back.

"Why the hell would I be jealous? Awsten I'm trying to protect you! I don't want you to get hurt!"

"NO YOU AREN'T! GET OUT! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN WILBUR, ALL YOU HAVE EVER DONE IS DRAG ME DOWN I AM DONE! LEAVE HANNAH AND I ALONE!!" He screams. Tears begin to well in my eyes.

"What the fuck happened to you?" I ask quietly. How could he do this? I am frozen for a second before I run out of his apartment. I look behind me for a second to see his face turn from anger to remorse, but I don't go back, I keep running. As soon as I get to my car I break down. Awsten and I have been best friends since we were 15, we promised each other nothing would pull us apart, he was my rock, the only person in the world who actually gave a shit about me. I was there for him through thick and thin and he said he would always be there for me, apparently not, not after tonight. I quickly go to my hotel and pack my bags before I drive to the airport. I don't know what I'm going to do, he was the only person who was there for me when I needed it most. He knows how much I need him right now, but I guess he lied to me about being there. I quickly pull my phone out and I call my brother.

"Tommy?" I manage to say through sobs "Can you come to Pennsylvania, like tonight? I'm flying home now" I spit out. Immediately Tommy knows something happened.

"I'm getting on a plane right now, I'll meet you at the airport Wilby, please don't do anything stupid on your way home" He responds, I can hear him quickly packing a suit case.

"I won't, I love you Tommy"

"I love you too Wilbur"

Those were my last words before getting onto the plane.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wilbur!" Tommy yells as he runs over to me and engulfed me in a tight hug, as soon as I see him I burst into tears, he holds me as I sob outside of the airport. After a while he leads me to his car and we start driving.

"Wil, what happened?" He asks concerned.

"Awsten and I had a fight" I tell him, I begin to explain the whole story to him. Each word I say I can feel him get angrier and angrier. We pull into my apartment complex and we get out.

"You go inside awhile Wil, I'm gonna make a call" he tells me.

"Tommy please don't it'll be ok, I promise"

"Too late, and don't lie to me, I know it won't be ok and I know you won't be ok. Just go inside"

I nod and go to my apartment, I begin to hear yelling as I walk inside but I try to ignore it. After awhile Tommy finally walks back in, his face is red but I don't dare ask him what happened, even though he hurt me, I can't bare to think that Awsten might be feeling upset. I shouldn't care about him after how he treated me, but why do I still care? I pick my guitar up and I start strumming a pattern, I can't stop crying, but maybe this will help me, if only just a little.

In your nest

When you gather all your things to head out west

When you check if there's still something in your chest

Cause you think you really tried, you did your best

To convince yourself you're good before you rest

Face the sun, face the sun

Face the sun and fall

You'll be the one, be the one

Be the one, tomorrow

Please remember me, I was seventeen

Break your neck, break your neck

Break your neck and follow