"Love, wag mo naman akong iwan oh." pagsusumamo ko kay Red.
"Priya, I know this would be hard for us, I love you so much and I can't leave without you but Priya, si mommy na mismo ang nagsabi that we should break up kasi pareho lang daw tayong mahihirapan. Kasi kahit saang anggulo tignan, talo ako. You need to follow what your parents said kasi it's for your own sake lang din naman." napaiyak ako lalo sa sinabi niya. Bawal ba talaga kaming magsama? bakit napakalupit ng tadhana.
"Red, ayoko nga dun sa lalaking yun. I don't want to marry a man that I don't even know. Please, Red. Lumaban tayo." sabi ko habang umiiyak pero parang wala lang kay Red lahat ng mga luha ko.
"May nakilala akong babae habang tayo pa. She is always at my side, comforting me. Lalo na kapag pinagtutulakan ako ng parents mo. Sabi ko no'n ikaw at ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko. But I was wrong Priya, I fell in love with her. Her smiles, her laugh, her voice. Everything about her. Kaya please, wag na nating pahirapan ang sarili natin Priya. Let's end this." mahabang litanya niya na mas lalong nakapagpadurog ng puso ko.
"Ah, kaya pala parang ang dali lang para sayo na bitawan ang lahat. Kaya pala ayaw mo nang lumaban? Am I not enough, Red? may mali ba ako? did I do something wrong? bakit?!" bulyaw ko sa kanya. Bago pa man ako napahagulhol ay agad na akong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo kay Red. Naghalohalo na lahat nang emosyon na nararamdaman ko, sakit at galit. Maybe I was just not enough of him.
Pagkadating ko sa bahay ay iyak ako ng iyak, I didn't even talk to mommy. Gusto kong mapag-isa na muna.
After a few days of our break up, I decided na pumayag nalang sa gusto ni mommy. Ang ikasal ako sa lalaking hindi ko mahal. I did this for me to forget Red in an instant. That's what I expected but I was wrong.
After how many days, weeks, months and years akala ko magiging okay na ang buhay ko. I tried moving forward pero bigo ako. Now? I am here at my bed, laying down, lethargic and in a few days my life will be over. We discovered that I have Leukemia and I only have a little time to live.
The arranged marriage na sinet-up ni mommy for me didn't work either. Because on the day of our wedding, I suddenly passed out and that's when we found out that I had Leukemia. It was too late when we found out that I had Leukemia because the doctor said that it couldn't be treated any longer.
Hinang-hina na ako, nararamdaman ko na ang katawan ko na parang gusto na nitong magpahinga but I am still waiting for Red to drop at our house para bisitahin ako. Umaasa pa rin ako na kahit may iba na siya ay magawa pa rin niyang alalahanin ako. Mommy already sent him a message, informing him that I only have a few days to live.
Tulala lang ako nang biglang pumasok si mommy sa room ko. She was panicking.
"Priya, dear. He's here. You have a visitor." sabi ni mommy, I was so happy kasi at last, andito na siya ulit.
"Let him in, mommy." I said to mommy and smiled. Agad naman nang lumabas si mommy at ilang segundo lang ay nakita ko na si Red na naglalakad papalapit sa akin.
"Red." sambit ko, gusto kong sumigaw at ipakita kung gaano ako kasaya ngayong nandito na ulit siya but I guess, I can't do that anymore.
"Priya, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, kasalanan ko lahat ng ito." sabi niya habang umiiyak. Hinawakan ko naman ang kamay niya.
"No, love. This is not your fault. Maybe it was just destined for me to have this Leukemia." nanghihinang sabi ko.
"Priya, please be strong okay? for us." sabi niya sa akin ngunit nag-iwas lang ako agad ng tingin kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na konting oras nalang talaga ang mayroon ako.
"Priya, I'm sorry if I said those things. Yung sinabi kong may iba na ako. That was all just a lie kasi ayokong mahirapan ka pa sa akin, sa atin. I'm so sorry, Priya. Ikaw lang ang mahal ko, ikaw lang palagi." mahabang paliwanag niya na nakapagpatibok ng puso ko. Mahal ko pa rin talaga siya.
"I am happy to know na wala kang iba, na ako lang talaga ang mahal mo." I said while caressing his face.
"Listen to me, love. Mahal na mahal kita okay? Palagi mong tatandaan na mahal kita at hinding-hindi magbabago yun." I said to him.
"I love you more, love. Please, stay okay?" pagsusumamo niya. Napaiyak naman ako.
"I'm sorry, love. I am already sleepy and i think, kailangan ko nang magpahinga." sabi ko sa kanya, nag unahan namang bumuhos ang mga luha niya.
"No, please Priya. Wag ka namang ganyan. Wag mo naman akong iwan. Please, ayoko nang mabuhay ulit ng wala ka, love." umiiyak niyang tugon. I continued caressing his face. Pinunasa ko ang luha niya.
"Red, I know makakaya mong wala ako. Please move forward love. Reach your dreams without me. I am always rooting for you."
Pagkatapos kong sabihin ang mga gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ay unti-unti nang pumikit ang aking mga mata. I did not expect that the last day that I would feel Red's touch was also that last day of my life. But I was still happy, kasi sa huling pagkakataon na yun, ay nakita ko siya. He will always be my love, my home, my rest.
- swturnish
