Less Than Lovers | LisRene AU

9

"That's all?"

"What do you mean?" Irene smiled, completely reading her tone wrong.

"Irene...you told me I wasn't worth it." Lisa's voice cracked. Realization dawned all over the doctor's face. "You broke my heart."

Irene frowned, her eyes were already glistening and despite the hold she had on her, Lisa wouldn't let her tears affect her judgment. She wasn't going to let herself be vulnerable with Irene again.

"Lis," Lisa stiffened at the nickname, "I'm sorry for what happened after. I was upset and I was trying to hurt you because hurting you was the easiest thing to do at the time. And that was wrong. I've been kicking myself over it." Lisa scoffed. "And I hate that I made you doubt me. None of it was true. You still mean so much to me."

"Look, I appreciate you explaining your side of the story to me. I'm glad you have your dream job, that your career is in place...but," You hurt me? I trusted you? I can't trust you? You broke me? "I should go."

"No, stay." Irene reached out, grasping her arm. The sudden movement got the attention of the student next to them, who looked over and rolled his eyes. He turned up the music on his headphones. Irene grimaced. "I just...I can't stop thinking about you. I've missed you so much."

Lisa flinched her arm away but sat back down. She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I missed you too, I couldn't stop thinking about you either. But that doesn't change the fact that I thought I was in love with you and you didn't seem to care."

"Lisa, I did care. I promise. I still care, Lisa, I fell for y-"

"Irene, stop," Lisa said, holding up her hand. "Don't. Don't."

Irene leaned back in her seat, a tear falling. She brushed it away quickly. Lisa's heartbeat thundered in her chest, reminding her it wasn't broken, it was just bruised.

"What did you expect to happen today?" Lisa asked

Irene smiled sadly, wiping away other tears. Lisa handed her a napkin. "Best care scenario?"

"Realistically."

She sighed. "I thought...maybe we could revisit what we had."

Lisa couldn't believe it. "Seriously?"

"There's something between us. We're drawn to each other."

"So? Irene, I'm drawn to drinking all night, every night, but I'm not going to do it. It doesn't mean it's good for you."

"Don't...don't compare me to a vice, Lisa."

"But what if I see you that way?"

"Do you? Do you really?"

Lisa didn't answer.

"I hate that I put us here, in this situation. I don't know if I could ever make it up to you, but I'm sorry. I can't imagine how you felt. I regret all of it. Everything I said was in anger, and it wasn't true. But I have no excuses. It was wrong of me to talk to you like that and I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, Lisa."

"You broke my heart."

"You're breaking mine right now."

That felt like a low blow.

"You can't turn this around on me again, Irene. You're really good at that but I'm starting to learn how to get really good at walking away from you."

"You're right. I'm sorry." She deflated. Her eyes glistened with new tears, breaking at Lisa's will.

Despite the fact that Irene had hurt her, she still hated the fact that she was causing Irene to respond this way. Her feelings for her were still there, bubbling under the surface as usual. But this time they were free to spill over. She just didn't know if she wanted them to.