Running In Circles || Nicholas Ruffilo

three

He picked up the next taco like none of this phased him. Like he just defended his family without blinking twice. It made me believe him. I couldn't even think about my tacos right now.

"Why? You don't even know me," I spat back.

"Cass, your tough girl act doesn't work with me," he said outright, making me feel smaller. "I'm a pretty nice guy and I accept people as they come, but I see straight through it. You just don't want to allow yourself to be accepted, or, God forbid, cared for. We care about people until they give us a reason not to, but you came very close to that with Nick today."

I sighed and tried to make it look like I was about to start eating again. "Look, I had just woke up-"

Tyler threw his hand to stop my excuses. "It doesn't matter. No one hurts Nick. Have you asked Davis why he opened the shop?"

I thought for a moment. "Because he really likes tattoos?" I posed stupidly.

"No. There's another shop in the area that was absolutely scamming Nick. Nick has been friends with Davis since they were kids and he couldn't stand the thought of it. Davis had already established a level of comfort with doing graphic design work for bands and a few different makeup brands and comics, so he just started the shop." I felt my stomach twist again.

"I came in one day to get tattooed by Nick," Tyler continued. "It was actually Vincent's first day. You haven't really met him yet, but he's got that tough guy attitude like you. I was astonished at how kind Nick and Davis both were to me and Vincent, so I kept coming around. Next I knew, I was drawing flash sheets, and then I had started apprenticing under Nick. When I tell you that I don't know better people on this Earth, I mean it."

This is the first time I had felt guilty for wanting to keep a professional relationship in my life.

"He did the same for me, buying my first little gun to use. I will never forget how that token of acceptance felt because trust me, I also haven't been dealt a fair hand in my life. I was actually very close at giving up when I found this shop, but it's healed me in more ways than one. So, please, if you're going to keep coming in and ruining the energy, just don't come back."

He picked up and finished his last taco, making me want to do the same. I somehow ended up finishing the food, maybe out of guilt that he bought it, in tense silence. I don't really have the ability to change overnight, but I was going to try and be better. For Tyler.

-

I hyped myself up the whole way in. I wasn't going to immediately go in with a completely new attitude, but... baby steps. I walked in and felt like every eye was on me. Nick was for some reason leaning on the front counter, chatting with Davis over it. When the bell dinged, he straightened up to look down at me.

A stare-off began as I considered my next move. I could start to apologize again, but I also can come off as insincere if I do it like that. I could sit here and keep absorbing his features like a weirdo or move. But his eyes that flicker from green to grey to blue on a daily basis draw me in. He looks more rested than yesterday, making me feel happy that he doesn't have the dark bags under his eyes again. His eyebrows started to come up as though he was gearing up to say something as I walked away.

"Hey," I said quietly to Tyler as I put my bag in its normal spot.

"Hey! I got your usual coffee," he pushed a coffee to me that didn't have a lot of condensation on it, so he must have just gotten here, too.

"Thank you, I didn't have time to stop for an energy drink this morning," I said gratefully as I took an eager swig of it.

"No problem," he mused with a small smile. "You'll be shadowing with Vincent today, so we won't be seeing a lot of each other today."

"What does he usually tattoo?"

"Mostly just a lot of black and white. Wait, that sounds like I'm downplaying his stuff. He does gorgeous pieces, but they don't require any color," Tyler backtracked. He got up and led me over to Vincent, me just putting my phone in my back pocket and taking my coffee with me. Vincent was hunched over a sketch pad, his shoulder-length hair covered by a beanie. He's really skinny, like one gust of wind could knock him over. "Hey, Vince, this is Cassidy," Tyler said, tapping him on shoulder. He turned and his face reminded me of a Tim Burton character; the naturally sunken eyes and gaunt cheekbones.

"Hey, dude, nice to meet you," he said as he stuck out a hand for me to shake; I applied a little extra pressure, proving a point to myself.

"Likewise," I responded quickly. I looked over at Tyler, who gave me a warning glance before he walked away, probably warning me to be nicer. I relaxed my shoulders, dropping my hand back to my side. "What are we doing today?"

He brought his sketchbook closer to me, swiveling in his chair to show that his full attention was on me. "My client wants to add some hand-drawn smokey elements to a previous abstract tattoo that he has, so I'm kinda just playing around to see which of these I like more to add. This is something that takes a while to figure out how to eyeball placement, but it's super cool once you're able to do it."

I stared at the page and it's quite literally different squiggles on the page. I was really beginning to question why Davis set me up with him, even catching Davis's sly smile that he threw at me, but trying to not let my judgment show on my face. New day, new me, right? 

"I know it doesn't look like much," he interrupted my thoughts, I guess reading my mind. "but once you see it with the piece, it'll make a lot more sense," he reassured, but I don't know if he was reassuring himself or me.

"I'm sure it'll be sick," I added to the reassurance, making him cock a lopsided smile at me. The door dinged and Nick moved out of the way for the client to come in, going to his station. I saw the tattoo on the guy's shin and knew he must be the client were working on today.

"So how far up do you want to go?" Vincent asked. I noticed that even though he had a firm tone, his eyes held a twinge of softness that can make someone feel like they're listening attentively and are in safe hands. That's a balance I need to learn for myself.

"I was thinking just over the knee? So it doesn't interfere so much with the thigh so that I can get a thigh piece later," the client posed back.

"I think that sounds good. Do you want any heading towards the calf or just going upwards?"

"Whatever makes it look blended, but my knee jerk reaction says to put a couple going towards the calf," the client added.

"Sounds good," Vincent reassured him. He looked to me to make sure I was paying attention, so I gave him a small nod. "So usually you'll want to get an actual transfer stencil for the work you do, but since this is meant to be free handed, we're free handing it. So I'm going to draw a couple of lines, but there's not going to be any harsh lines here. In fact, I'm mostly going to use tips that you would use for shading to give it that smokey look."

After shaving the client's leg, he literally grabs a marker and draws squiggles upwards from the piece and a couple extending from the sides that barely meets the calf. It feels wrong, but you have to trust the process, I guess. He shows me that he chose a more spread out shading tip to lay the ground work, and then eventually went with something darker to add more dimension. I have to admit, it's super sick.

I noticed that Vincent isn't super chatty like Tyler is, which is nice because I'm not either. The client absolutely loved it and went on their way.

"Great work today," Davis said to Vincent. "We're you doubting him?" Davis asked me, poking at me.

"Just a little," I admitted, which made Vincent fake being shot in the chest. "You have a very good eye, though. I didn't see the vision at first but it was so sick." I extended my fist out, having him fist bump me back.

Davis smiled, looking between us. "Cassidy, if you want to just go back to practicing on fake skin or shadowing Tyler, you can." That was basically a dismissal, so I walked to the station. "See? You do make a good teacher," I heard him tell Vincent quietly before I got too far, making me smile a little.

I caught Nick's eye, taking time away from working on his piece to glower at me. I had one victory today, but slow and steady, I guess.