"Nobody," she murmured, grudgingly taking Derrick's open hand as they ambled down the corridor.
"Bitch..." The Fat Lady's voice echoed in the empty corridor. She shook her head and walked into the next portrait, gossiping in other sceneries about the students failing relationship.
James slammed the dormitory door shut and immediately locked it with a spell, flicking his wand. He really didn't want to see anyone: dogs, werewolves, and rats included.
The first thing he tried to do was hex himself as an unusual suicide attempt, believing a hundred hexes of bat bogeys and boils could kill him if he were locked in a bedroom to slowly die.
However, hexing yourself proved to be rather difficult. There was the matter of instinctively moving out of the way, the second he raised the wand at himself.
"Incendo—DAMN IT!" He swore, his head dodging the flame from his wand. "Incarcerate—stop bloody moving!" He dodged yet another spell.
It was clearly a fact that he didn't really want to burn his face off or bind his self to death, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Stupid reflexes and stupid sense of will to live.
Next, he tried eating things from the floor, poisoning being the second option of suicide. After all, the dormitory floor was even dirtier than Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
"This should kill me, right?" He asked aloud, examining something that looked a cross between a bread crust and a hairball. He shook himself of doubt and ate it.
One minute later, he was retching into a toilet bowl.
Okay, so poison wasn't the option. However, jumping from high towers could be.
He ran to the nearest window of the dormitory and grabbed for the handle to pull open.
The windows were somehow locked.
"What the hell!" James tugged on the window handle. "Alohamora!" He yelled in frustration, but still the window did not budge. "How can they be locked? What if there was a fire, or something!" He tugged the handle again until he gave up. "BUGGER IT! I bet Moony locked them somehow... Is trying to kill myself that predictable?"
Suddenly a light bulb went on in his head and his eyes lit up - the knife Padfoot had just given him just last Christmas! Sirius had told him that the blade could cut through almost anything and get you passed any locked door. Of course, Sirius knew this because he had the exact same copy of the knife which he kept in his bag for 'self-defence only' and not to try and break through Filch's office cupboards where he stashed dirty magazines.
James could easily stab an eye out with that knife if he didn't handle it carefully...which was exactly what he wanted to do!
Rubbing his hand together eagerly, he skipped over to the wooden chest by the end of his bed, flinging it open. Pushing up his jumper sleeves, he searched through the junk of what could be recognised as a second dirty laundry bin. Eventually, he managed to find the old glasses case which he kept the knife in.
Making a "YES!" of delight, he quickly opened the case and found a post-it stuck inside. 'DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, PRONGSIE' was scribbled in messy ink.
"But-how—I—argh—DAMN IT!" He hurled the glasses case across the room where it hit Peter's rememberall, which then rolled and made an impressive smash to the floor.
James somehow felt this as an anger relief.
Ten minutes later, the room was in shambles.
Bed drapes had been torn and slashed, books had been ripped to pieces, pillow feathers were floating across the room, odd bits and pieces of magical Hogsmeade one-minute-wonder buys were now broken scattered on the ground - all destruction thanks to James.
Chapter 21-Pet Names? Oh Joy!
Start from the beginning
