starving [hailee steinfeld one-shots]

i'm all skeleton and melody [K.Bishop]

At least not on your own.

You can barely make out the sound of the archer's voice but you don't understand the word she says. Much less who she's saying them to.

"I just want to help," she says for the fifth time, earning herself yet another one of Yelena's eye rolls.

"Yes, I know, you have said that a million times already."

"I just don't understand why I can't go in there with you. She's my girlfriend."

"y/n isn't in a good mental place, Kate Bishop. You will only get hurt."

"Isn't that exactly why I should be there? I'm supposed to be the one taking care of her when she's not doing okay."

"Put the puppy eyes away, you're staying outside."

"Fine...But-"

"No."

The hushed sound of voices turns into the tell-tale sound of the doorknob being messed with. You assume Kate is attempting to pick the lock again so you merely sigh and turn onto your back, staring at the ceiling and trying to erase May's face from your mind.

You feel a familiar exhaustion starting to creep in when the bedroom door slams open.

"I thought you said you were going to pick the lock!"

"Do not be a baby about it, Kate Bishop, you're rich."

"It was a nice door."

The ghost of a smile appears on your face at Kate's complaint but the reaction is more subconscious than anything. It's almost like your body reacts instantly to your girlfriend even while your mind is struggling to stay afloat.

"Stay." You miss the glare Yelena throws Kate's way but the sound of footsteps approaching manages to register in your mind.

Your first instinct is to hide despite how ridiculous of an idea it is. You reach for your blanket and throw it over your face to cover your tired eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

Yelena sighs but makes no attempt to force you to face her. She may act like a jerk sometimes but she cares a lot about you and Kate...mainly you but the archer doesn't need to know that her playful insults aren't always completely playful.

"y/n," the blonde says softly as she sits down next to you. "I do not want to be the one to tell you this but your girlfriend is losing her marbles over you."

"Yelena!"

The Russian mumbles some curse words you don't fully understand before continuing. "How do you live with her? She is more annoying than her dog."

"Don't bring Lucky into this," you murmur, deciding only to speak up to protect the loyal dog's honor.

"I would say I'm sorry but I am not. It's nice to see you're still alive."

You don't remove your (literal) safety blanket but you feel Yelena's hand find your own over the fabric. A moment passes before you stick your hand out and allow the blonde to intertwine her fingers with yours.

It's a wordless action and yet it brings tears to your eyes. You're not sure how or why but you don't dare fight against the emotions that gather in your grief-stricken body. "I wish I wasn't."

"You don't mean that," she replies, no traces of her usual sarcasm in her tone. "You're just upset."

The word doesn't even begin to cover how you feel. It's like your mind is painfully aware of how alive you are while your body is more than happy decomposing within the four walls of your bedroom.

"Try devastated."

Yelena either doesn't understand what you mean or she happily accepts the replacement. "Okay, you're just devastated. Staying inside isn't going to bring her back, you know?"

"You're one to talk," you mutter despite how harsh your words truly are.

Fortunately, the Russian might be the only person you know who is able to take that harshness in stride. "You're right, I did awful things when I learned what happened to Natasha. But I didn't do it for her. I did it for myself. Because I thought it was the only way to cope."

You take the words for what they are, a reminder that you're not alone. That you're not the only person to almost succumb to the powerful anger hidden within the sadness and regret. What happened to May is miles away from what happened to Natasha, though, and somehow the comparison only makes things worse.

"It's my fault she's dead." All the tears you had been holding back finally fall, forcing you to accept the reality you've been trying to escape from all these days. "I got my mom killed."

"Don't say that. You don't know that-"

"Of course, I know that." You use your free hand to pull the blanket down and finally face Yelena's affectionate gaze. "Who else is to blame if it's not me?"

"Try the homicidal maniac with a glider."

Yelena groans and the familiarity of the scene helps to ease some of your pain. "What happened to staying outside, Kate Bishop?"

"y/n needs me."

The words are simple in nature and they're nothing you haven't heard before but the reaction they bring out of you isn't one you're used to.

Thankfully, Kate crosses the space between you without you having to say anything.

Yelena tries to move away but you tighten your grip on her hand before she can get too far. She rolls her eyes at you but accepts the silent request, choosing to remain seated by your side while Kate literally climbs on top of you.

"You guys are strange."

You're too focused on the relief of having your girlfriend's body back on top of you to argue back.

The archer lazily wraps an arm around your middle while her head rests on top of your shoulder so she's able to glare at her best friend. They only last a few seconds before they start arguing about something so you close your eyes and let the sound of their voices drown out the memories that threaten to come back.

"Hey." Kate's voice is a mere whisper against your tear-stained cheeks. "I love you."

You don't have to open your eyes to be able to see the sincerity she exudues with every breath she takes and every look she gives you.

"I love you too."

It's not nearly enough to get rid of all your pain but it's enough to remind you what you're fighting for every day. You're fighting for the ones you love. Even the ones you've lost.

And maybe fighting won't bring them back but you don't need to. Being with the ones you have left is more than enough for you.