His Heart And Her Rhythm

Chapter 17

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(Unedited)

Recap :
Ashwin had asked Sivaangi to come to the hospital to give her all the answers that she wants.

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Thanatophobia . The Fear of losing something or someone you love. The Fear, The phobia that Ashwin has been dealing with since childhood. The phobia first began when he lost his favourite remote car in his second grade at some family functions. Since then, Ashwin demanded two numbers of all the things he liked, so he would have the other when he loses one. What started with two toy cars, two pieces of his favourite tees, two watches and now two different families. Alizeh is his family , so is his kannamma and Kanmani. And now, he is traumatized yet again, for he fears he might lose Alizeh all together now.

Sivaangi took her time to reach the hospital, She could have rushed the moment Ashwin asked her to come , to get all her answers. But the stubbornness of Sivaangi, wouldn't let her. She ain't some lost puppy, for people to boss around. She wants answers, Yes ; but she doesn't want to look needy, at least not infront of him, again.

Walking through the hallway of the hospital, her hair tied in a low bun, her grey baggy Jean and button down maroon shirt swinging along with each step her white Jordan takes along the corridor. The confident, upfront and Strong demeanor of Sivaangi crumbled when she spotted a lone man, sitting in one of the steel coloured hospital seat, his head hung low, quivering with each breath he takes. Sivaangi was shattered beyond words can explain. Sivaangi had come prepared to drag Ashwin by his collars , throw some harsh words and demand answers from his mouth , now simply wants to stay by his side, cocoon him and cradle  and promise him that it is going to be okay. She blamed love. The love he will always receive from her no matter what. The love of whose intensity she never realised until now. The love she had reserved only for him. The love she can't even take back , even if the receiver chose someone else over her. The love , he made her believe in ; the love that keeps destroying her ; the love that made her to stick on this man no matter what ; the love that keeps feeding her flames; the flames Sivaangi is ready to swallow ; For no matter what, that man is worth it all. May be she loved him more than she could ever love herself, she loved more than anything that existed, exists and yet to exist. He is her அந்தாதி after all.

Sivaangi neared Ashwin, stood near him ; sensing her presence, her lavender scent, Ashwin looked up. The sight of Ashwin that broke her heart, His eyes sunken with dark circles, his chocolate orbs red and puffy, his lips parched, and quivering; Sivaangi has seen him in such states before but never this worse. Ashwin's strong slender calloused hands kep shaking, Sivaangi dropped to the floor ; enveloped his trembling hands with one of her palm while the other palm kept rubbing circles on his back. Ashwin is having anxiety attacks and she knows better than to speak and demand the poor man to reason his behaviour.

"Kan- ka- kann-ma , l-li-lizz-a" Ashwin stammered between his quivering breathes.

"Shhh- onnum illa avangaluku. Nalla than irupanga ... Deep breathes, Ashwin. Remember, Deep breathes. " Sivaangi whispered, Pacifying her manchild.

"Nurse, Nurse." Vinayak yelled across the hallway, spotting two of the most dearest people of his life,  in the most vulnerable position.

Hearing loud yells, a plump nurse dressed in pastel pink scrub rushed to Ashwin's side and treated him, while Sivaangi sat beside him; pacifying him. A sight that made vinayak's heart clench and sting, The sight of witnessing his sister console the man she loves with all heart, stabilizing him over the fatal news of his loved one. Sivaangi helping her love, deal with the news of his loved one, The one he chose over her. Heart wrenching was the sight alone, Vinayak can't even imagine what his poor sister might be experiencing.