Vacuity (Sebastian Sallow) | on pause.

Ch 19 | Scars

"But he also holds a grudge against me. I'm his biggest enemy now, so, really, who am I to blame?" I laughed in hurt.

"Oh, Y/n...I'm so sorry about that." Poppy gave a look of guilt, like if it was her fault, "You are not the enemy! He is just not well."

"And he won't be," I sighed, "But it's alright, Poppy. I've learned to move on from it. I think I'm doing well."

I hadn't been well, and although there were several events that might've balanced out my stress, it was nothing compared to the meter of tiredness.

The Ministry never stopped bothering me. Not that I was ignoring them, but it was becoming overwhelming. I received an owl this morning about a task near Manor's Cape tomorrow and another reminder of my consideration of joining them soon.

"What's on your mind, Y/n?" Poppy asked, noticing my dazed expression.

"Oh, nothing," I laughed, "I just have to skip Divination class tomorrow for a mission, that's all. It'll be quick. I should be back by dinner."

"A mission? Again?! This might be the third time you miss a class this week!" Poppy exclaimed, "Do you think it's affecting your studies?"

It was affecting my studies, in the most horrible way, but I began to think about how most of this wouldn't have mattered if I decided I wasn't going to pursue at Hogwarts anymore.

"Yeah, but, actually," I looked down, biting the inside of my cheek from the confession, "I am not sure if I'm even going to continue...well, graduate Hogwarts." I said, weirdly.

Poppy's brown eyes rose at my reveal. "What?! Are you failing already? Oh, Merlin, Y/n! It's only December and—"

"No, it's not that. The Ministry offered me a proposal." I licked my lips, "To...work with them."

There was no need to announce this news to everyone, but it might've been nice to give a heads-up to my close friends. If it did end up happening, I wouldn't be seeing them as often anymore.

"What? Really? Don't you work for them already?" Poppy gasped, "A proposal? To leave Hogwarts?!" She questioned again, in denial.

"Yeah, like getting paid more, having a better living standard for grams and I. Benefits for my role in life, I guess?" I thought to myself, feeling a bit guilty about wanting to leave now.

I knew working for the Ministry would open up a world of new opportunities. But what about my friends at Hogwarts? What would become of us when I didn't see them anymore? And how could I let them know I was leaving without sounding bad?

"But to leave Hogwarts? Can you not do that after graduation?" Poppy asked, her face contorting in surprise.

"Or I could just not accept it," I said with a small smile, taking Poppy's last statement, "But I do sometimes think about a better life for my grandma and I, you know? A better living condition, environment, and...I don't know. It won't happen, but you're my best friend, Poppy." I sighed.

"Of course. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate it, and it'll be unfortunate to see you gone." Poppy sighed, "But I suppose...if you're getting offered something that many don't, then it's a lifetime opportunity."

"It is, but I do enjoy spending my time here too." I thought, "I know studying for NEWTs isn't ideal, but it's a normal student life." I lied.

Nothing about my life was normal. I knew about ancient magic and used it for a living now. Being a student was as normal as I'd felt for a moment in my life.