Chaotic Love

Chapter one: Too many choices

 *Lilys POV*

      It had been two years since Payton died. I wasn't particularly happy at all but I found myself in between the guys. I had a lot of guy friends and each one of them had a crush on me. My and Jasper were currently in a fight which is why me and Zane were at the carnival together. Zane was a tall, long blonde male who looked like could be a lifeguard if I'm being totally honest. I knew he had a crush on me because who in their right mind would want to be with a knocked-up girl and with a two-year-old for that matter.

     Life was weird that way. When Payton died, I thought my world was going to crash into a million pieces. He left me and our daughter and I didn't really know how to put the pieces back together. Zane was his brother, and I really enjoyed his company. I knew he felt guilty for even liking me because he would only show up from time to time. He felt even more guilty for not being there for us when Jasper came along. Jasper and I are complicated. He came about 6 months after Payton died and I was grieving him hard. Jasper took advantage of the situation, but we never put a label between us. Unfortunately, after a year and half of messing around we slipped up and now I am three months pregnant with his child.

     Jasper and I were complete opposites. When we met, I already knew the type of guy he was. I was surprised when it turned out to be more than a one-night stand.

     "So can you remind me why you and Jasper are fighting again?" Zane asked as we took a break from the rides. My daughter was hanging out with my other guy friend Tommy who I honestly had a crush on. Tommy loved my daughter Eliza, and he would be a really good dad to her. He was funny and charming and just good company all together. He was a little taller than me with short swept black hair and deep brown eyes.

    I gave a deep sigh before speaking, "He wants me to move to Europe with him. Like I can't just move across the sea to a place that would be too foreign for me and Eliza. We would have to learn a whole new language and find our place in this world. I just can't do it."

     "Mm I see, so why are you still with Jasper anyway? I mean y'all got a fling going on but you told me once you got pregnant, he didn't even want to touch you anymore."

     I shuttered. Zane was absolutely right. He didn't want to touch me anymore. Once I told him I was pregnant with his child, he went ballistic then shut me out. I'm pretty sure he fucked 10 other girls before coming back to me telling me he was sorry and was out of line for calling me such horrible names. He acted like an animal. You see, Jasper is a bad boy. He wears leather jackets and boots. The kid rides a motorcycle to school and doesn't give two fucks what anyone says or does to him because he's too "cool." I honestly found it hot at first. He's absolutely gorgeous if I'm being honest. He has thick black hair that reaches just past the nape of his neck and a little mole on the right side of chin. His smile though, stops everyone that comes his way.

     "We worked that out." I mumbled. I honestly was stuck because I knew the type of guy Jasper was. He wasn't looking for a commitment. "I don't know why I stick around Zane." I told him honestly. "Maybe it's the fact that this child is his and I don't want the baby to be without a father."

     "Lily, you have so many other people that love you and support you. One day Zane is going to break your heart. I don't want that to happen.

     A tear slipped down my face, and I nodded in agreement. Zane put a hand ontop of mine and looked at me sympathetically. "Let's go. I see cotton candy."

     I laughed and shook my head. Once we got our cotton candy, I told Zane that I had to use the restroom. After relieving myself, Zane and I started walking towards Tommy and Eliza. I'm not really sure what happened but I ended up tripping and spraining my ankle.

     "Lily!" Tommy yelled, shifting to my side. "Are you okay?"

     I looked up at Zane who had a horrified expression on his face and then I looked back to Tommy who looked worried. I nodded. "I think it's sprained though." I tried to roll my heel and my face might have said it all. Tommy shook his head and then picked me up in one swoop. I almost yelped in surprise. I forgot how strong he was. I bit my lip being close to his chest because of his biceps against my chest.

     I could see Zane in the corner of my eye, and I felt his gaze making me blush really hard and let go of my lip. I turned my head to not feel his gaze anymore. I small part of me felt guilty for liking Tommy. I had a small crush on Zane even before his brother, but Payton showed me interest first and I feel like Zane really regrets not saying anything prior to Payton. How fucked up is this whole situation? My heart was in pieces and each man had a piece of it due to the history I had with them. Yikes. I needed to get myself together.