What do they really want from me. I mean like I am just a regular girl. What could someone like you, want from...me?
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This is me by the way.
*** Smiling lips, tired eyes and corrupted minds filled the hallways at my old school. It was almost like each person had their personal rain cloud casting over the top of their head like an umbrella also giving them a hunch and that extra weight on their backs, In which this was true. All teenagers my age have their problems and trauma. Some of them have already been through what I could never imagine being through, though I do feel sometimes my life is tough. The beginning was hard but as it soon started to get better it progressively got worse. I knew everyone but talked to no one, so I had no one and i created that space for me and myself only. I was proudly a loner and a dork at heart in a superstars costume. Til this day, I could never understand if they were just scared to interact with me?
First comes boredom, then comes tears, sorrow, numbness, acceptance, loneliness. The cycle goes on. Well, til' you find your people, or the person, the people who genuinely just give a fuck. Which is actually hard to find these days you see, no such thing as new friends when the world has already evolved without you.. Everyone has their friends and their groups. You can join a group of friends but you'll never be in the group. Your never hip enough and you'll never fit in, they'll always look at you as "new" You have family, but no real developed friends. No one you trust, no one who has your best interest. Nothing.
It makes me feel, empty. It makes me feel like the noise when you knock on a hollow piece of wood. Super lonely is what i am. Super lonely is how i feel. Super lonely is what i see.
