The three sixth years cut off to look at the professor who seemed to be doing an odd sort of meditation as she shut her eyes, mumbling incomprehensible things to herself.
"Eight...students, no sense of propriety...nine...breathe...and...ten." She snapped open her eyes and tried to remain calm. "Black, Lupin, I do appreciate if you do not carry on speaking as if I am not here. The longer you chat, the longer you will be in here."
Sirius made an exaggerated moan. "Uuurgh, don't you hate it when people say that?"
Remus blinked a few times and finally turned his head, realising Sirius was surprisingly talking to him. "What?" he murmured confusedly.
"When professors say," Sirius carried on, completely ignoring the fact that he was slandering a teacher when one was presently in the room and preferably at arm's length, perfect for strangling, "'Ooo!" Sirius adopted a dramatic voice, "the longer you talk the longer you will be in here!'" He wagged his finger.
Lily leaned over ever so slightly to him and hissed 'shut up!' in disguise of a cough. Of course, Sirius could not understand fake coughing and the technique of communicating and saying words in between.
"Hmm," Sirius eyed Lily suspiciously. He ogled at her for a second more, catching McGonagall's eye and miming clearly, 'Smoker's lungs...'
Lily reddened in anger. "You better have not mouthed what I think you just mouthed, tosser," she whispered, practically climbing over Remus to get her hands on Sirius' face, rip it off, then frame it on a wall like a beheaded house-elf, but Sirius bravely talked over her.
"But don't you find it annoying when teachers say that?" he carried on, apparently still addressing Remus. "Because you know no matter that they say it won't matter if you talk or not because you'll still be in there the same amount of time. It's all bollocks and-"
Sirius shrieked as McGonagall's hand came forward. "CHILD ABUSE!" He squeaked, shutting his eyes, expecting physical damage to his lungs or other possible organs as she thrust her hand towards him.
After a few seconds of nothing touching him, he squinted open an eye and discovered the dreaded tartan biscuit tin in front of his eyes, open and full of ginger newts. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Biscuits?" Lily mumbled confusedly, not knowing McGonagall's routine of force-feeding ginger newts to students as she had never been in trouble with McGonagall before. "I would have preferred if she'd just punched him instead," she mumbled acidly.
As Sirius was still in shock, remaining frozen, McGonagall moved the tartan tin to Remus who was still scratching feverishly.
"Biscuit, Lupin," she commanded.
"Er, no thank you. I just had an apple and-"
"Biscuit. Lupin."
"What a splendid idea!" Remus said at once, cowering under her gaze. "Discard the apple! You know what the Muggles say: a ginger newt a day keeps the doctor away!" he laughed nervously, picking up a biscuit and stuffing it in his mouth so he wouldn't ramble any more incoherent Muggle sayings which did not exist, nor make sense.
The professor smiled rather manically at Lily next. "Biscuit, Evans?"
She looked at McGonagall blankly, rather perplexed by the situation of a professor handing out biscuits when she should have been handing out things like, you know, detention?
"I don't understand," she admitted, puzzled.
McGonagall's smile disappeared. Not understanding and not taking a ginger newt was not an option in the office of the Gryffindor Head of house.
Chapter 20-PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!!!!!
Start from the beginning
