Let Me Love Him

XXII.

Constantinos becomes tensed, smiles quickly, hides his hands behind his back and tries to get taller — to be confident. Yeah. 

Confident.  

His eye twitches a little, in fact.  

"Very funny," she kills him with that phrase, and looks only one way.

Pinky exhales and turns away completely, and Johnny looks at her immediately. It's not clear what his look means, but Christy Martin is sniggering snidely:

"What did you say to Const?" and laughing. "He's almost green!"

"I'm not green!" Constantinos growls back with his nasty nasal voice. He rubs his nose and closes his eyes for a second so as not to see how all the girls look at him. Even Mandy looks at him. Stunningly nervous, stunningly irritated. And slightly smiling, yes.  

His smile slides down, his look becomes pale, Constantinos doesn't want to be with them.  

Pinky turns away, listening to the established silence.

Silence?

She blinks several times, her palm takes tiredness off her face, and she touches the fabric of her sports dress. Johnny catches this move with his attentive look and purses his lips. Pinky exhales because she needs to come to senses. She gets hot.  

She doesn't notice Constantinos and the others present here.

Pinky looks at Johnny, but loses herself.

You drive me home. I wasn't expecting it. 

You just kissed me. I can't help but give a lift after this.  

Pinky closes her eyes. He often gives her a lift, she likes that trait in him. Too gentlemanly. Too not in his style. As she once thought. And keeps thinking, of course.

She thinks for so long that she doesn't even notice how gently and politely Mandy greets the greasers (Johnny especially, yes-yes) and how Christy giggles nearby and how she notes softly:

"He greeted everyone except you, Pinky."  

"Well, that's expected," Mandy shrugs, letting the girls take a little break and go outside.

Pinky even wants to be indignant, but Mandy is right. Pinky said too many terrible things to them all.  

"Hey, you know what I'm gonna do if you don't shut up? I'll make sure you all end up unemployed!"

So Mandy's even more than right, and that's the first time Pinky's not feeling well because of it. No, not because Mandy's right — she's often right, everybody's used to it. Pinky's not feeling well in general — she feels badly at the mere thought that she has told them (him) so much over the years at Bullworth Academy.

Not good, unpleasant, ashamed? It's so stupid to think about it, but Pinky does it and continues to feel like this discontent accumulates inside her body for the rest of the training. Everything freaks her out: Constantinos, the shouting girls from the team, these stupid footballers' catchphrases in their direction and the laughter of Christy Martin, who doesn't take Pinky's crazy side seriously at all. At some point, Pinky even gives Mandy an angry look, but the training ends later in the evening, when even the football team go to their dorm rooms. It's getting dark outside, she can see it through the gym windows.

The lights begin brighter at Bullworth Academy as Pinky wears her plaid skirt and a perfectly ironed white blouse. Pinky is the last one to leave the girls' locker room and she's a little lazy, but still elegantly adjusts his makeup — pale pink lipstick, a few more strokes and done. Still the same makeup. Classy. Her own private academy style.