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15. chapter fifteen
—each other.

 chapter fifteen—each other

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I TRIED TO GO BACK. I wanted to go back and act like nothing happened, but pretending to be fine was too much to handle right now, so I hurried off onto the beach before anyone decided to follow me. I let the water brush my toes as I walked along the shoreline. My breath became steady as I came closer to my final destination.

I knew that once I got there, I would feel at peace. The isolation would help calm my head and heart. I could stop thinking completely and just live there, in the moment. For at least a second, I would forget I was Sonny Rodriguez. I would forget that I lived in a world such as this one. I could close my eyes and see nothing but darkness, not the image of my father being dragged away from me. I would feel the sand around me as I took in the fresh summer air. My fingers would take a pile of sand in them and they would try to count every grain and fail after the tenth one.

I stayed there until the sun started to set. I knew well enough that Alva wouldn't appreciate me being away for too long even if it has been a couple hours already.

I made my way towards the patio so that I could go in through the back door. Steven and Jeremiah were walking towards me.

"Where have you been," Jeremiah asked, oblivious to what had happened. I wasn't surprised because I doubted that Conrad would go around talking about it. "Everyone left already. Kenny and Cecilia were asking about you. They wanted to say goodbye before they went back home."

"I was down at the beach." I shrugged it off like it was nothing. I wanted it to be nothing. "Where are you guys off to anyway?"

"We're going to set up the fireworks," Steven said.

"Could you help Conrad clean up? There's a mess on the patio and he seemed awfully irritated with everything, talk to him, hm?"

"I really don't want to do that," I muttered. They didn't catch it because they were off to the beach before the last word left my mouth. I huffed, heading towards the patio.

I was looking at the ground, too entertained by my beating heart to hear that there was an argument going on right in front of me. I stopped in my tracks as I finally heard Mr. Fishier say, "Why'd you let her get so drunk?" There was a short pause before he continued, "you're lucky she and your mom didn't get hurt."

"I didn't know she was drinking that much," Conrad said, in disbelief.

"You're the oldest. You're supposed to look out for the younger kids." He was scolding Conrad like he had anything to do with Belly getting drunk. It was almost as if Mr. Fisher needed someone else to blame.

There was a short silence and then Conrad scoffed, finally saying what he had been holding back, for what I assume was a long time. "I don't know why, but I thought I could talk to you," he said, walking towards the house.

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