Very Stupid South Park Episodes

Shit Chairs

mr garrison: alright children, now today we are going to be learning about how you can think about penises, and still not be gay

-mr mackey barges in- now mr garrison, you know that children shouldnt be learning about sex, vaginas, penises, semen, dildos, condoms. pubes, or any other vulgar subjects, mkay?

kenny: -muffled laughter-

stan: what the heck are those things?

mr mackey: well semen is a white, milky liquid that squir-

mr garrison: STOP INTERRUPTING MY CLASS!

mr mackey: i wasnt interrupting your class, i was teaching the children about semen and stripclubs!

mr garrison: SHUT UP, FAG!

mr garrison: now children, were going to use mr hat as an example, so right now hes thinking about penises, but that does not mean hes gay, because -blahbslalbaslfgsdgfldsflg-

kyle: im kind of worried about my mom, i feel like she had something important to tell us

stan: who cares, it was probably a reminder to tie your shoes

kyle: im not wearing any shoes

-stan looks down-

stan: how did i just notice that

kyle: i dont know, what if she was about to warn us about some sort of disaster

stan: maybe your right, we have to figure out whats going on

kenny: yh, yoh rih

-they all start leaving class- stan: come on, cartman

cartman: no

stan: but were trying to figure out whats-

cartman: i dont give a crap about your little disaster

kyle: but what if chairs made out of feces are going to-

cartman: just eat the chairs then, they must taste good somehow

stan: ill let you call me stupid

cartman: wow, i get to call you stupid, what a great prize

kyle: ill let you call me a dumbass jew

cartman: oh, how lucky am i

kyle: ill let you laugh really hard and point your finger at me when you say it

cartman: fine you got a deal damn

-scene changes to outside-

stan: how are we gonna find out whats going on?

cartman: kyles mom tried to tell us so we ask kyles mom dumbass

kyle: wow cartman, for once you made someone else look dumb instead of just making you look even more retarded, good job

-they knocked on kyles door-

kyles mom: oh boys, im so thankful you came, i was trying to tell you but the fat one

cartman: BITCH IM BIG BONED!

kyles mom: yes, sorry, the big boned one closed the window, its terrible, oh the humanity

stan: ok thats great and all but can you tell us what fucking happened

kyles mom: well, poop chairs are going to rain out of the sky!

-silence-

kyle: poop.. chairs?

kyles mom: yes, chairs made out of poop!

kenny: nh shi bih

cartman: wow im so glad i came to find out about your raining shit chairs, wow what an intelligent jew

kyle: cartman, this is serious! shit chairs havent rained in over 2 trillion years!

stan: dude the universe hasnt even existed that long

kyle: exactly! there were universes before ours, there was a very similar planet to earth which was dominated by a very similar species to humans, and one day giant chair-shaped turds just came from the sky, it destroyed the entire planet and everyone was dead!

stan: wow dude, how do you know all that?

kyle: i dont know, guess its a jewish thing

cartman: alright, im out, you guys are worrying about some chair shaped turds falling from the sky, but as i said before, you can just eat them!

stan: IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY DUMBASS! YOU THINK YOU CAN SWALLOW AN ENTIRE CHAIR? MADE OUT OF FECES? YOU WOULD DIE ASSHOLE!

cartman: oh shut up you guys, everythings gonna be fine

-shit chair falls from the sky, collapses the roof, and hits kenny-

everyone besides cartman: AAAAAAAAAHHU9DRIFOJSDPIOXFDJ

cartman: WOW, couldnt have seen that one coming

-shit chair falls from sky and hits cartman-

cartman, muffled: NO YOU ASSHOLE ONLY KENNYS SUPPOSED TO DIE! SCREW YOU -COUGH- SCREW- SCREW YOU GUYYyyy-

kyle: oh my god, they killed kenny!

stan: YOU BASTARDS!

kyle: and cartman also died i guess

stan: who cares, we need to hide from the shit chairs -they walk out of the house-

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WILL THIS LAZY WRITER FINISH THE STORY? WILL KYLE AND STAN EVER STOP THE SHITTY CHAIRS? WILL I EVER ADD SHITTY SIDE CHARACTERS SUCH AS BUTTERS AND TIMMY INTO THE STORY? THOSE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERS IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF: Very Stupid South Park Episodes (no refunds)