Highlighted Stories (eng)

About my love -To my love

 "The day I met her was the day I found it. Found the reason why all this romance books and songs exist. After I met her my life wasn't completely mine anymore. I lived for her, laughed for her, cried for her, breathed for her. With no doubts I'd die for her if only it could save her. I finally felt it, I felt the real taste of the food I had, I saw the real colour of the sky, I saw how green is the park after it rains. She loved the smell of the earth after the rain. (I understood why, when we had a walk through the town.) My days weren't the same anymore. 

Yes, I still had bad days, I still was frustrated sometimes, but she was able to give me that relief by just sitting around me. I heard her breathe, her heartbeat and felt how my pain fades. I was so scared she'd leave me but in the same time I knew she won't, we were emotionally connected, and none of us was able to leave. I knew nothing could ever tear us apart, I wasn't thinking about death yet. 

 Every night when she stayed at my home I was afraid to hurt her. She was passionate about it, but I couldn't act like normal. I was much more experienced but that one time it's me who was worried while she was just curious. Then I proposed, we got married. Her family was different, they weren't so calm and prudent like my mother. They were loud but they were so alive. It was like they adopted me. We had so much fun together. In that trip, we were unhinged. Our souls became one. Then we finally decided to have kids. Everything was so good, too good. But I knew that we've been together for a really long period of time. I didn't want to realise that one day it'll eventually come to end. 

 We had a life that was her dream, she told me about it lying on that bed, on her deathbed. She told me this so many times, but even though I trusted every single word she said I still was trying to make her life better, because she made mine.

 Our kids, two gorgeous kids. She loved them with all her heart, as I do now. They're the only thing that holds me here, that makes me staying in this world. That's why I'm still trying. That's why I didn't give it up and leave to meet her. Our souls are connected forever. 

Oh I hated so much those romantic tropes. I hated all those dumb movies, until I lost her. From now on all what I want to talk about, write about, think about is my endless love, that I couldn't express before."

That's what he wrote in his notebook. It was so sad to read it. I'm touched. 

 "My dear, if only you could read this. But I know there's no need for this. My love language was always giving you everything I have and receiving from you everything I needed. You knew it, you always understood me. Simple "I love you" from me could make your smile brighter than anything I gave you. I never waited you to ask me for something, I always was feeling what you want, your eyes, your behaviour, everything was speaking for you. But I still always asked you before touching you, I was so afraid to break your trust.

 We were speaking, a lot, you always could make it clear so we could go through anything without quarrels or grudges. Sometimes you was pretending to be offended but the smile you tried to hide from me was my saviour. I love you. Every part of you, every smile and every tear, every your move, every your action. I try to treat our kids the best way I can, because I love them, they're also a part of you, they're our most beautiful creations. And of course our cute little grandkid. You loved her so much, I can see your features in her too. My lovely girl, I'll care about this princess till my last breath. I love you, I hope one day I'll meet you again and tell about everything you couldn't see, everything I couldn't say you before you were gone. Thank you for saving my soul."

That was in the letter. In the letter he put in my coffin. He was my true love. Love that kills. He knew I wouldn't make it this time and he gave me the end I wanted to have. He trusted me but there was one thing I couldn't  tell. It wasn't my first life, I asked him to unalive me because I knew it's time. Time to unpack the memories and write another story down. Again