The Boy In My Dreams -HEDRIC (1)

12.(H) under a spell

The boy who wanted to trust and couldn't.

Because he had never done it before.

Maybe he didn't have any more friends because he couldn't bring himself to let someone else get close. It was dangerous to be around him. Ron, Hermione and even Ginny had been hurt, and this year was no different because a deranged criminal had been in his -and Ron's- room. His life involved risks and he hated to feel like he was dragging his friends along with him.

The worst part is that he couldn't help it.

He wasn't sure he would be capable of doing any of it without them either.

For a brief moment he allowed himself to think that this time was different.

Believe that he could leave Cedric out of the mess.

Believe that he could choose.

When, deep down, he knew the decision had already been made.

XXVIII

As hard as Harry tried to hide the depth of his insecurities, he thought for a second that Cedric had noticed the slight change in the atmosphere and would bring it up instead of following the new topic of conversation that Harry improvised. Cedric was an intuitive person, he could tell it in the way he looked at him and because, when he arrived late to meet him, one of the first things Cedric asked was if he was okay, as if he noticed something was wrong.

An answer that Harry couldn't fake.

Cedric humoured him and it was quite natural to sink into a trivial conversation about classes and everyday scenes. The subject that Harry had not been looking forward to hear did not come up, the first time in weeks he was able to forget for a while about what had happened and, more importantly, everything that might take place. If Cedric's intentions were to distract him and make him feel better...

It was working.

He almost felt like just another student, talking about exams and his friends among the usual concerns that tormented all people in all worlds. As it turned out, they had both taken Divination in their third year, and Harry was comforted to know that he hadn't been the only one Professor Trelawney had seen Death lurking at. Several in Cedric's year had been predicted tragedies, and he assured Harry that none had come true. Although he didn't seem to take it seriously, the relief was as momentary as a gust of wind.

There in the middle of the forest, Harry feared what they might find.

What would be wandering among the trees and their shadows? Would he run into that dog he'd been seeing in the most unexpected places? Harry thought he had imagined it, but what if it was real?

Against his will, he suggested heading back to the main path of the town.

It's about time anyway , Harry thought as the disappointment set in.

They walked in silence and he remembered what Cedric said when they were going in the opposite direction, just before he ran off. Ignoring him hadn't felt right and it seemed like a good time to make amends. "I'm sorry we didn't go to the pub like you wanted," Harry spoke, glancing at Cedric and holding the cloak in his hands. "I mean, we could have gone, if you don't mind that you can't see the person you went with. I was there with my friends this morning."

Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned the last thing.

He could have said that he had seen Cedric at a table with his Hufflepuff friends and a group of Ravenclaws. With Cho, sitting next to each other. Cedric had told him that they were friends, so it was not entirely unexpected. The sudden pang he had felt while watching them talk with a closeness he'd never anticipated, he did not understand.