Slacker (Assassination Classroom) (Rewrite)

Octopus-Sensei

Mimura raised his hand nervously.

"Um... What's the deal? Is he an alien invader or something?" He tried to smile but it didn't hide his wariness or the fact he was sweating.

The Octopus flayed his tentacles in outrage. "How rude! I'll have you know I was born and raised on Earth!"

Yeah, because that made this so much less confusing. Sora leaned forward as he pondered this. This had to be a prank right?

The Octopus gave a huff but calmed down quickly as Karasuma sighed quietly. "I'm afraid I can't discuss the details, but he's telling the truth. And as he said, he won't stop at the moon. Next year... he will destroy the Earth as well. Only the world's leaders know about this. If the news of this guy out there, we'd be looking at a global panic."

"That's why we have to kill him in secret before that happens."

Karasuma said as hewithdrew a green knife from his pocket. "In other words: an assassination." He tried to stab their teacher but the creature dodged it.

"But here's the catch." Karasuma lunged at him in a tackle but their teacher continued to dodge. "His speed is unmatched! You try to kill him-" Karasuma growled as the Octopus groomed his hair and eyebrows. "-and he ends up grooming your eyebrows instead-immaculately!"

Everyone looked on in amazement.

"He's a super being with enough power to reduce the full moon to a crescent." Karaduma said as a gust of wind blew from the speed of their teacher's movement while the Octopus remained without so much as a scratch. "His speed tops out at Mach 20! In short, if he wanted to get away from us, we wouldn't be able to do a thing to stop him."

The octopus put away his grooming tools in a small pocket-sized container.

"But where's the fun in that?" he exclaimed gleefully, moving behind his desk again while an agent with glasses pointed a gun at him."So I made your government an offer. They will refrain from attempts on my life. And in return, I'll teach Class 3-E at Kunigigaoka Junior High School."

"Yeah okay, that makes sense," Sora muttered sarcastically.

"We have no idea what he's after," Karasmua sighed. "But we agreed on the condition that none of you students would be harmed,"

"Well that's reassuring at least," Sora muttered.

"We have two reasons for this. First and foremost, if he's coming to a classroom every day to teach, we can keep an eye on him." Karasuma explained as his eyes narrowed coldly. "And second, it gives some thirty people the opportunity to kill him from an extremely close range."

Honestly Sora was pretty sure everyone was only on board because of what he said next.

"Your success will be rewarded with ten-billion yen," Karasuma stated, and all od our jaws hit the floor.

Ten-billion!? What the hell would I even do with that kind of money!? That was the collective thought that rang through the heads of the entire class.

The agent shrugged like Ten-billion yen was pocket change. "It's only fair. If you can assassinate this creature you will be Earth's saviour. Fortunately, he doesn't think much of you."