FallOut (BOOK 2)

-08-

I have to admit I admire Salim's unwavering kindness and resolve. I don't deserve it from him.

"I'm going to the asylum," I tell him.

"Alone?" Nick frowns. "That's not a good idea."

"CENTCOM was already there," I remind him. "We need to find out how and why and get the data from the Wendigo experiments away from them!"

"You're right," Nick agrees. "But no one should go in that place by themselves."

"So we'll go with him," Hunter says to announce his presence, startling the shit out of us.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Nick demands, clutching his chest.

"I was keeping watch," Hunter says calmly, pointing to the top of the cabin, where he had leaped from.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that, Hawkeye," Nick mutters.

Salim and Hunter laugh at that, but I don't have an emotional response.

"I assume that this is an inside joke," I comment. "We should get going, then."

The festive atmosphere fades as I head toward my truck. The others fall silent as I warm up the vehicle, and we wait before climbing inside.

"Listen," Nick says after a while, "I know things have been rough since we left Iraq...I've reached out, yeah, but...I should have tried harder, man."

"We all should have," Salim adds. "We fell prey to their tricks, and we should have looked past it to work together, as we had in the temple."

"I didn't make it easy on many of you," I lightly disagree. "Rachel should have stayed in command. I made a lot of mistakes there. I was so consumed by blind ambition and wanting to fix my marriage that I led people to their deaths or tried to...that's on me. So is what happened to Rachel after that."

"That doesn't mean that you should punish yourself for it," Hunter spoke up. "If there is anyone who understands the desire for revenge, it's us. And we feel like shit about what's happened. Let us help. Let's work on fixing this and bringing these assholes down."

"We hate how shit went down," Nick followed up. "Maybe you don't trust us because of it. Maybe you don't think you deserve our trust from the sound of it. But you do, and I hope you can forgive us."

"It's not that easy," I find myself admitting. "I've gotten past the affair, and I shouldn't have blamed you alone. I took part in that, but I didn't want to see it. I blame myself for sending us to Hell. I blame myself for not seeing that Rachel was already gone. I should have seen it. I should have known. She was my wife, and once again, she needed me, and I didn't see the signs!"

I've never admitted this to anyone else. I must have decided that I deserved to carry that burden alone. But as soon as I said it, the weight I'd felt lifted a bit.

"Eric..." Nick says after some time has passed. "We couldn't have known what we were getting ourselves into. We trusted the wrong people because we're soldiers. That's what they were counting on. Can you be shortsighted? Yes. Does that mean that you planned this or that any of it is your fault? No. You use that anger and grief and smarts to finish this!"