Funamusea − Story tales. [English Ver.]

Bitter memories

It was something that I couldn't allow.
For years, the angels and demons had lived apart, only coming together to wage horrible wars where the lives of those who bravely fought to defend their thoughts and ideals were torn away. We were enemies destined to live in separate worlds, and as here, it was so in others as well.
I was the first to break that rule, to betray my principles as a devil, my species as a demon. That judgment clouded my mind, haunting me at night with horrible nightmares.
What if there was a war? Which side would you be on? Would you fight alongside your home nation or alongside those who should be your enemies? Would it be a betrayal if God killed you or would we be the traitors?

Trying to fall asleep was impossible, hundreds of nights grabbing my hair and pulling it while listening to you cry fearing the dark.
Your sobs reminded me of what a horrible person I was when I separated from your true family, the angels.

One morning, drowning in doubt and confusion, I made a decision.
And with you in my arms I returned to the surface fleeing from the unaffiliated gazes of the feathered habitants.
You shouldn't hate your god, you shouldn't reject your kind. You were an angel, and that's what you should always be. I would not allow you to fall into the darkness, break your purity and damage your thoughts surrounded by bloodthirsty demons who spit like beasts every time they see a wounded angel.

Before the seraphim went out to patrol the castle, I let you at the huge gates while you were still drowsy and unaware of my actions.
This time it was my hands that trembled as I knelt on the ground with your small, young body in my arms.
She would find you, and I wanted to believe that she would raise you properly, following the principles of an angel, training you to defend yourself against your true enemies, us.

When you grow up, you're supposed to no longer remember me, it would just be a dream, a feeling in your chest that would bring you doubts. But nothing else.
I would be nobody to you, and that would never change.

It was the intention, the motive behind my actions. I wanted you to be happy with God, even if I had to reject you despite having become strongly attached to you.

That morning I left while you woke up confused and lost, disoriented and scared at the castle gates. I promised myself never to see you again, I promised myself not to go after you, to let you grow and mature together with your true siblings.
I swore that I would never regret my actions...

Until I saw you in the war...
You were an adult angel, imposing, with beautiful and enormous renewed silver wings that matched the white uniform you wore.
You wielded a spear made from brilliant gems and sharp rhombuses, along with two swords that you swung with excellent precision, battling demons on the field.
I knew you would fight on her side, but I didn't expect you to be the head angel of the troops, her right hand...

That hurt me like salt on a wound, cutting me to pieces. But what made me suffer the most was the fact that I had to fight against you.
As it was obvious, you didn't recognize me, we had both changed, we were different beings and you remained faithful to her indications and orders, coldly and fearlessly facing my two strongest subordinates.

For a moment I was in a trance, watching proudly as you dodged and flew over the skies, counterattacking and deflecting each of the felines' movements.
An angel against two archdemons, I would never have imagined such skill and ability. I felt so fulfilled that for a moment I forgot the panorama where I was.

As soon as you saw me, you jumped in my direction. I stayed like an idiot witnessing the scene, how you drew your sword in an effort to attack me.
I barely reacted in time as I watched the cold expression on your face, and of course... You weren't the child I once tried to raise... You were an angel, my enemy.

I didn't know exactly if you remembered me, I wasn't going to try to ask you. I could only invoke my magic with a small hope of intimidating you out of the way, my target was the goddess you now swore allegiance to, not you.
But you were stubborn and steadfast, you knew my intentions, you understood my plan perfectly, trying to get me away from her, trying to weaken or exhaust me, hovering around me while deftly blocking my ranged attacks.

But, that wouldn't work. No matter how much effort you put in, there is an established hierarchy, and if I didn't break it, neither would you... I wasn't going to allow it.
So, gritting my teeth in rage, I reluctantly charged an attack in your direction.
As was obvious, I hit the target, damaging one of your wings. It was a matter of time before you fell on the ground with no other choice.

When you landed, you looked at me with suspicion and distrust, a look of contempt that shattered my soul and cracked it like a porcelain vase that fell from a great height into the abyss of penury.
You were not my brother, you were not my family, and I had to abide by the orders of my role.
An angel, we hate angels, we must murder them, and even if I didn't want to, I had to hate you too... As much as it burned... As much as it hurt...

You tried to defend yourself, but I blocked all your attacks without difficulty, I was much stronger, and even so, I felt myself lose consciousness.
It was really unfair to know that you didn't have a chance, I read your attacks as if it were your mind, and I sent them away if they got close to me, shielding me with a magic that you couldn't counter. What could I say? I had no excuse. Devils are unfair, but even the gods are...

How ironic, right?

Believing in God only brings you a lie... How many demons have been betrayed by the one they worshiped? Even if she is so beautiful and loved by her people... Why can't I love her too?
It is a lie that we all agree to blindly believe, and no one complains, because the one who protests is despised by both, enemies and allies.

And as you crawled on the ground trying to get away from me, painting the grass crimson red, you finally collided with nowhere else to go.
I crouched down next to you and made one of the few choices I could make.
And even though I feel bad about myself to this day, it was the only thing that would keep you alive.

Thus, I took your eye, aware of how much pain you had to suffer, my plan was to terrify you, make you regret it, make you hate me, make you never forget me again, make you see me for what I really am, what I should be, a heartless monster.

Regardless of the tears shed, I left you there, alone and abandoned, just like I found you.
Except this time, you were one-eyed, hurt, dying, limp, and just as scared as the first time you saw me.
Hopefully, my actions would keep you out of the war, with no energy to fight, just hiding until the blood storm subsided enough, no matter the side winning.

Somehow, I kept you from ending up like Yosaflame, from not fighting to the end like Cranber, from resisting better than Lost. Wishing that you would at least survive the war wrapped in suffering and heartbreak.

Leaving you behind, alive but hopeless.

I regret?

Yes...

And not.

I know that deep down you understood my thoughts, I know that deep down in your soul you still knew who I was.
And thanks to that, you managed to convince her. I am relieved with the results, I finally feel like I can sleep peacefully, even though the nightmares continue to threaten to wake me up.
Even if I have to see your missing eye patch every day. I know that I can finally treat you as the family member that I loved and wanted to have. With your feathered and pure white wings, and a firm and impassive new personality.

− Thinking about the past again, brother? − I heard you enter the main throne room where I was alone, absentmindedly looking out the window. − It worries me to see things revert to the way they were.

I turned to look at you in silence. Me too, Wodahs, me too... But...
I would never let something like this happen again...
I promise.

2052 Words −

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