𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙸 𝙶𝙾 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙵𝙾𝚁 ,, xo kitty

001 | everybody wants to rule the world

Reaching into the top drawer, she smiled like a maniac as she untangled the white lace, laying the lingerie set out on the bed before she stripped down for her shower, a Tina Turner song playing on her Bluetooth speaker as she crossed the hall.

She couldn't stop herself from singing along to 'Typical Male' as she washed her hair, dancing in the stand-up shower at the thought of dinner with her husband. After blow-drying her hair and tying it back with a simple white ribbon, she donned the white lace set and posed in front of the mirror, taking a quick snapshot to send to Alex, an incentive for him to get home sooner.

Before she met Alex, she was so sure she would never be the type for scandalous pictures like that. But Alex Finnerty brought out the best in her, and the photos were always tasteful and stunning rather than dirty and horny. She trusted Alex with her life, and though it took time to get there, he was the only man she would ever trust to see her vulnerable side.

Bonnie: I'm wearing your favourite set! Can't wait to see you, loverboy <3

Alex's response was almost instant.

Alex: Bonnie, I am with a student!

Alex: But you look stunning as always, pretty girl <3. Be home shortly. Love you lots, xx 

Laughing to herself, Bonnie changed the album on the speakers, humming along to Tears for Fears as she picked a coral-colored cotton bodycon dress with a deep V-neck out of the wardrobe. She hadn't been this giddy about dinner with Alex in a long time. Not since they had first started going out all those years ago.

Dressed and ready to go, she curled up on the couch in the living room. It was almost seven, meaning that Alex would be home shortly. But as the minutes ticked by, dread started seeping into Bonnie's bones, the bad feeling spreading through her bloodstream like a drop of food coloring in water.

What if Alex wasn't coming? He wasn't answering her texts, and he didn't pick up when she called.

Alex Finnerty always answered his phone on the second ring.

This feeling of doubt, of rejection, was all too familiar to Bonnie. It reminded her of the night that she and Alex met, the stinging pain of being stood up.

Bonnie Rizzoli felt cheated, lied to, and betrayed as she sat in the back booth at the lively marina restaurant, waiting for her date to show. It had been an hour already, clearly Jake McBride wasn't coming.

The voice inside her head seemed to be especially loud, that voice of self doubt and negativity that fed her anxiety, told her she wasn't good enough. Right now, it was telling her that every patron in the nautical-themed restaurant knew about her failure, and was silently judging her, pitying her. She almost thought that she might cry, shaky hands typing out a text message to her brother. After all, Jake was Lachlan's friend, and this entire thing had been Lachlan's idea, not Bonnie's.

And that was when Alex came over. She knew who he was, she had seen him around. Every Sicilian family in her neighbourhood used this marina. Boats were and Italian thing, she had learned, and Italians stuck together. Hell, the marina itself was owned by an Italian.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Alex said, sliding into the seat across from her. "my shift ran a little late, they needed me to cover for somebody."

"Nice try. Very smooth, but you're not my date. My date is still a no-show." Bonnie had laughed. "Thanks for trying, but I don't think that Jake McBride is going to show."

"That's a shame. You seem like a really nice person, and you're frankly too pretty to be sitting here on your own." He had frowned. "I'm Alex. Alex Finnerty." He extended his hand, presumably for a handshake.

Laughing, Bonnie shook his hand. "Bonnie Rizzoli. I'm sure you know my brother, Lachlan? Yeah, this entire date thing was his idea."

"Well, it's Jake's loss, if you ask me."

And now, the one person who had sworn to never make her feel like that was standing her up. How could Alex do that to her?

It was quarter to nine when the front door opened. Alex Finnerty stumbled into the main hall, tripping on the doorjamb like he usually did, his Converse skidding across the hardwood. He'd been meaning to fix that step since they bought the house but had never quite gotten around to it.

"Bonnie? Love, I've got some great news!"

"Where the fuck were you, Alex?" Bonnie shouted, getting up from the couch. Her eyes were red, mascara smeared across one side of her face from when she was trying her hardest not to cry. "We said we were going to have dinner tonight, I got all fucking dressed up, and you never showed!"

Alex's face fell, stomach sinking to the floor. He had been at the school until seven, tutoring a rugby player who needed to keep his chem grades up to avoid being dropped from the team, and as he was leaving, he'd been ambushed with a very important call.

He'd completely forgotten about Bonnie.

"My students needed me, Bonnie. I was tutoring Hector Vega today, that rugby player who could make it to worlds if he just kept his grades up a little higher. You knew I was tutoring today, I told you."

"But that was only until seven. You were supposed to come back here and we were supposed to get all dressed up and go out to dinner." Bonnie crossed her arms over her chest, trying to maintain composure. Alex looked crushed, but that didn't make her feel any better.

"As I was leaving, I got a call from the Korean International school I applied to at the beginning of term. It was an interview, I had to stay later to take the conference call. That's the good news, Bonnie. They want to hire me. We're going to Korea."

Bonnie felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on her head, mouth gaping in shock. "Korea? Were you even going to ask me before you took the job? Alex, we have a life here. A good one."

"But I have history there. Bonnie, I want to know who I am. What my culture is." Alex insisted, reaching for Bonnie's hand and trying not to wince when she pulled away from him. It stung, and he felt like an awful husband. He knew he hadn't been a great husband these past few months, but he was trying to get better, trying to do better.

But there were some things he just couldn't tell her yet. Not without upsetting her.

"We should have talked this over together, Alex. I have a job, a family. Also, I don't speak Korean! How am I expected to survive on my own over there?"

"I don't speak Korean either, Bonnie! I never had parents to teach me. I want to know about where I come from."

"Then we can go on a holiday! We shouldn't just uproot ourselves and move there full-time!"

Bonnie shook her head, biting her lip before she said something she couldn't take back. No matter how much he had hurt her tonight, he was still her Alex, her husband, the love of her life. "Forget it, Alex. I don't want to say something I'll regret in the morning, so let's just leave it. Talk it over when our heads are clear. I hope your right hand is good company tonight, because you sure as hell aren't sleeping next to me."

"Bonnie, wait, I'm sorry!" Alex hated seeing her like this. When Bonnie yelled, sure it was scary, but he knew it was usually because she had something else going on that she didn't want to talk about, and she could be talked down. When she was cold and detached like this, it meant she had given up.

And he hated knowing that he had caused it. That this growing rift in their marriage was his own fault for keeping secrets.

For the first time in a long, long while, Bonnie Finnerty cried herself to sleep that night, teras staining her satin pillowcase. She was curled up on top of the covers, not even bothering to take off her dress.

Something needed to change, or their marriage wouldn't last. They couldn't keep hurting each other like this.