PARADOX

PDX47

"Way more to say like what? Imma grown ass man, I don't sit around and gossip—that ain't me." Samir argued, Rashad lightly chuckled as he shook his head. "That is you though nigga, if you saying it then stand on it. Nigga talkin bout I'm being selfish with the work, whole time I'm trynna help yo stupid ass not crash out." Rashad argued back, gaining attention from those around them.

"Crash out? Nigga I'm finna be father, this shit ain't cheap! Yo job is to bring me the pack and I flip it, not you watch my fuckin pockets." Samir replied, his chest rose up and down from anger. Rashad wasn't near watching Samir's pockets, he just wasn't dumb. He knew Samir had pretty good income coming in, hell, he technically was his employer. But the amount of money you had coming in didn't matter if you had more going out due to bills, debt, and or your lifestyle.

"So when you go to jail then what nigga? And I ain't gotta watch ya pockets, fuck do that do for me?" Rashad spoke.

"Maybe if you was a better leader niggas wouldn't be in the hot spot—we shouldn't have to feel yo fuck ups." Samir quipped. "A follower can't tell me how to do shit, give them people they blue cheese and take yo young goofy ass on." Rashad spat. They intensely eyed each other for a second before Samir grabbed the large black tray with two metal dipping sauce cups and stormed away. Rashad let out a sigh as he shook his head while grabbing the next ticket for the next order.

Once he finished he departed from the kitchen and headed in his office, he let out a long dramatic sigh as he sat down and slightly twisted side to side in the desk chair. He began to wonder if Amina was the glue that was holding his life together, or at least the one piece of peace that he had and now that she was gone he was back to seeing everything for what it was.

He fell into a daze as he clashed with himself. Get in a relationship, fuck up—it ends. Don't get in a relationship, do everything right—and it still ends, can't win for losing, Rashad thought to himself. He definitely respected Amina for bowing out gracefully and setting boundaries, she was the first woman he'd ever been with to do that and it made him fall in love with her even more.

Being away from Amina had him losing his creativity, he didn't have a big extravagant plan to settle the situation nor did he even know how to go about things. He didn't want to lose her and he absolutely didn't want to fuck up a good thing. He figured he needed to explain his sentiments to Amina, but knew that once her mind was set on one thing there was no changing it. In Amina's mind, it would all boil down to Rashad not cherishing her, which was far from the truth.

Rashad leaned back in the chair, allowing his head to point toward the ceiling. "Fuck." He dreadfully spoke. The more thought he gave it, he realized that's probably why Amina was staring blankly into space. Rashad sighed once more, he wasn't a drinker but he could've definitely downed a few tequila shots right now.

"What I gotta do God? Cause I'll do it." Rashad spoke aloud as he stared blankly in front on him, lightly taping the pen he got ahold of against the timber desk. He knew isolating himself wouldn't do him any good, so he sprung up and decided to go help out on the floor.

April 3rd 2023
Dallas, Texas
9:58 am

Amina crossed her right leg over the left, as she used her thigh as cushion against the clipboard while filling out the patient paperwork the receptionist handed to her. "Did the operation hurt?" Amina questioned to Chalyn while she sat the pen in the metal clamp of the clipboard and placed the board in the vacant seat next to her. Now that she wasn't tied up with Rashad anymore, she decided that it was best to freeze her eggs since she wasn't sure what the future entailed.

Chalyn lightly chuckled, "No, and you'll be slightly sedated, so you really won't feel much." She explained, causing Amina to nod her head. Happy that her friend tagged along for support. Amina hated anything medical and hospital related, it reminded her of her mother being in and out of different specialist offices before and after her diagnosis. Amina remembered her mother making her sit in the lobby while she went to her appointment. Now that Amina was older, she realized that her mother would try her hardest to mask the crying she did while in front of the specialist.