𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 ( the way of water )

nineteen. forgiving

Her body begins to feel fuzzy. Warmth spreading across her limbs the harsh cold weather surrounding them. The ends of her lips upturned on itself.  And her arm wrapped around him, pulling him close.

Just when she thought she could feel at peace again, her mind wandered back to another place. Her mother. And her strain relationship with the woman. And then back to her sister.

And how cruel the situation was, for the younger girl to be put in a home belonging to theirs and immediate guilt flood through her chest. With abruptness came back her thoughts of her mother.

The strain bonds that keep apart but still attached. They were never like this after all, it's seems like the death of her father affected them. A factual information actually.

Emotions filling her in her chest, almost drowning the girl in silence. Emotions from resentment, wrath to sadness and sorrows— grief of a death of a relationship, a bond shared between a woman and her daughter.

She understood her father's death must've really affected their relationship, but the question still lingers with Arwani: where did it all go wrong?

Then the last flooding emotions that filled her, it came to a stop. It settling inside her now. Guilt came to greet her again.

She though of herself and the boy she adores right besides her. The fact how he can be right besides her but her mind wanders back to her family yet again and how selfish may that seem— she feels guilty.

She thought of his own family, a loving one with its own short-comings ( not all absolutely monstrous. Simple shortcomings that she'd seen in the boy and how it affected him slightly.) Still, it was a loving one.

She feels bad for even not thinking of him in moments with him. But she is now, so does her guilt swims away?

A bit. However, does it naturally make her feel good? Not so much.

" I'm sorry. " The words tahf libgered at the tip of her tongue finally bounced out from her lips. And he breathes with her, the chest rising and falling in matching patterns— proceeding to lift his head, her shoulder immediately running cold after his touch. " For what? "

" For the being the person you fell for. "

It was silence not the comfortable, this time the air was a little tense to Arwani's dismay. The pebbles of the soft rain was beginning to hit harder at the skin, prickling with little gentle pinches and thudding a little louder than before.

Her posture slowly hunches smaller, fear at her mistake of words be spoken to her then relief exhales out her breath. Maybe her words just now were true, it was a mistake for Arwani to be the person Neteyam would fall for— how can someone so kind, so beautiful and caring, and all the other things that make him good fell for a stupid girl like her.

" Why be sorry for being the only person I happen to . . . " He stops momentarily, and his marigold eyes stared at her grey owns. Matching the clouds that loomed solemnly above them, it had that hint to them that she always had.

Understanding.

He didn't need to finish his sentences, Arwani understands. Like? Love? They didn't exactly know where they we. Arwani shudders for the first time, not from the chilly rain but from the lack of Neteyam's embrace. The lack of them interlocking bodies with each other and the simple thought of having a future with him.