On Your Side !¡ GeminiFourth (Read Desc)

27 - empty

don't read if u get triggered easily there are mentions of descriptive sh. again do not read if you're easily triggered !!!!!!

fourth's pov

later that day when I woke up, gemini was laying behind me, his arm was under my head. he wasn't asleep. I turned around and saw him on his phone. "you didn't sleep?" I asked him before yawning. "no, I wasn't tired." he said and looked at me.

"how'd you sleep?" he asked me and I shrugged. "I slept alright." I said and he nodded.

I got up and I walked over to the bathroom. I was wearing my bracelets. I took them off one by one and got met with a bunch of marks. my wrist was covered with a bunch of dents and marks from the bracelets. this always happened when I slept with them. I hated it.

I washed my hands and my face and the dents slowly started fading away, revealing scars that were covering my whole wrist.

that was also something I hated. the brown healed up scars looked just as bad as they did when they were made.

they were also the result of my horrible self harming that I tried stopping a few months ago. I did it ever since my dad died up until this year. I still did it but not as frequently.

those times were the hardest for me. I grew up with my dad and he was like my best friend. he never really yelled at me or got mad at me. he was literally the best dad I could ever ask for.

he never judged me for being myself and even though I never came out to him he proved to me that he would support me no matter what. that's why I hated it when my mom said my dad would be disappointed.

my dad was a really nice person too. even when I was getting bullied at school, he was always there for me. so when he died, my whole life felt like it ended as well.

a few months after he died I was still grieving. I never got over it. it wasn't just cause he died but also cause the bullying got worse. everyone was just making fun of me cause I tried my best to mask the fact I was crying every single night.

I wore concealer to cover the dark circles underneath my eyes from not sleeping. I was waking up an hour before I usually would just so I could add layers on layers of concealer just to make them look normal. it was so stupid cause without the concealer I looked like I had put purple eyeshadow under my eyes.

that was also the time when the bullying became worse. and when I told my mom she also said that I should focus on studying and that it was my fault I was getting bullied.

I knew she was trying her best. I'd hear her cry sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes she'd cry when she was on the phone with someone.

but the fact that she was taking it out on me was just something that broke me even more. so then I started to hurt myself. I knew I couldn't stand up for myself and I couldn't just yell at the world for ruining my life so I'd just use myself.

I'd cut my wrists as if they were paper and I'd take out my own anger on myself. I never tried to kill myself. but I really was hoping that someday I'd die from blood loss of the cutting.

and the cuts were deep. they left me crying out from pain every single time. they always went from my wrist up to my forearms. and I still did have a bunch of darker lines on my forearms from them but nobody really paid attention. the really bad ones were right on my wrists.

those were the ones that couldn't heal properly. they were always a brown kind of colour and textured. they were very visible. that was why I always wore bracelets or hoodies or zip up hoodies.

I was pretty insecure about the scars. and I was really disappointed in myself that I still did it. when I'd have a really bad day I'd cut myself. and it'd leave a few more scars.

I looked at my wrist for a bit more before I put my bracelets back on. I went out of the bathroom and I saw gemini wasn't in the room anymore. I went out of his room and I went downstairs.

he was there with his dad. his dad noticed me and smiled. "hello, fourth. I made dinner if you want to eat." he asked me and I thought for a bit. "uhm, I'm not that hungry but sure. if someone else is eating too." I said. gemini turned his head to me. he smiled slightly. "I'll eat." he said.

we both sat down on the table and his dad gave us plates and put one on the table for himself. he got the food and put it on the table then he sat down. "okay come on, dig in." he said and I nodded.

his dad had made some salad and som tam. I put a bit of the som tam on my plate and then I loaded up my plate with the salad. gemini just looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I didn't notice him and immediately started stuffing my face with the salad. that's when I noticed gemini looking at me. "what?" I said, my mouth full.

he chewed on his food and just shrugged. "nothing. it's just funny to me that you like salads so much." he said and I smiled, chewing on the last bits of the salad and swallowing it.

I finished up the salad after about one or two minutes and then came the som tam. I took a small bit of it and ate it. I chewed really slowly unlike how I chewed the salad.

gemini saw me. "you don't have to eat it if you don't want to." he said and his dad just nodded in agreement. "no, no, I'll eat it." I said and gemini just nodded, sighing.

I slowly ate the som tam and after almost ten minutes I finished the small bit on my plate. gemini looked at me when I finished it and smiled. I smiled back to him.

I hadn't eaten this much ever since the last time my mom made a salad. which was a few days ago. that time I basically ate the whole salad and left my mom, lee and phat with only a bit of it left. my mom told me it wasn't nice to do that but I couldn't really contain myself when it came to salads.

gemini's dad then got up and started cleaning up the table. so then gemini also got up and so did I. I helped his dad a bit with cleaning the table. I put the dishes away and I put them in their dishwasher.

he thanked me and I smiled before I was dragged away by gemini up to his room.

"what are you doing?" I asked. he closed the door to his room and smiled at me. he kissed me on the lips but pulled away quickly, then he got in the bed and gestured for me to lay down beside him.

I did so and he wrapped his arms around me and I smiled. "can we stay like this for a bit? it's really comfortable." he asked and I muttered a small 'of course'

----

okay a little backstory for fourth since one of the readers asked about fourth wearing the bracelets and hoodies.